HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY - 04-26-2022

 

A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

 Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

 

 

Join Happy Tuesday and link your funnies to Sandee at Comedy Plus.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK - 04-25-2022

 What is the difference between 

living and existing?

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY (on Saturday) - 04-20-2022

 This week’s prompts are provided by

messymimi's meanderings

steward

mechanical

trail

restrict

nun

scale

and/or the following “words in danger of lack of use”

oppugned (opposed or called into question)

autodidact (self-taught)

non-fungible (non-interchangeable, not easy to exchange)

widdershins (counterclockwise or going to the left, in an unlucky or contrary manner)

TRUST CONCERNS by Granny Annie

Henry was an autodidact steward. He learned his skills from books and from his imagination. This caused many to doubt his mechanical inventions. Most of his completed types of transportation seemed as if they were widdershins. Still Henry kept moving forward on a large, strict scale regardless of being oppugned. His inventions, once sold, were non-fungible. The only lively argument for a total refund came from a nun . She experienced a breakdown of Henry's skipping machine on the trail. This caused Sister Maria to miss an important meeting with her Bishop.

HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY - 04-19-2022

 

"People are always asking me how much I'm worth. Well, all I can say is, I've got enough money to last me the rest of my life. As long as I die in the next 20 minutes." - George Burns

"We were soooooo poor, we went to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick the other kid's fingers."

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. 

 

 

Join Happy Tuesday and link your funnies to Sandee at Comedy Plus.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK - 04-18-2022

 What are you looking forward to in the upcoming week?

ABOUT DOGS...HAPPY SATURDAY

 Just checking in...

QUOTES ABOUT DOGS

 

“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”

~ Will Rogers

 

“One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why.” ~ Author Unknown

 

“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” ~ Andy Rooney

 

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.” ~ Mark Twain

 

“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.” ~ Ben Williams

 

“Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.” ~ Franklin P. Jones

 

“Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.” ~Corey Ford

 

“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” ~Rita Rudner

 

“Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.” ~Franklin P. Jones

 

“The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.” ~ Ambrose Bierce

 

“If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.” ~ Author Unknown

 

“My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am.”

~ Author Unknown

HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY - 04-05-2022

 

         A termite walked into a bar and asked where was 

                                     the bar tender.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

 

Join Happy Tuesday and link your funnies to Sandee at Comedy Plus.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK - 04-04-2022

How do you define success?

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY 03-30-2022 ON FRIDAY

 

This month the words/prompts are supplied by River and can be found here

 

LIFTING SPIRITS by Grannie Annie

Ralph opened the box and knew this was CRAZINESS. Who would ever think you could buy a CHARIOT model kit for CONSTRUCTION? He had DEPRESSION and thought this might perk him up. He had worked many model kits as a child and those were always for cars or boats. Now he might be able to FUEL his COMPASSION with a replica of the Ben Hur Chariot.

He went outside his HOUSE and sat by the FOUNTAIN. It SEEMED like a good place to go over the INSTRUCTIONS. Ralph could not believe how easy this assembly appeared to be. He gathered all his fortitude and went back inside. He spent many days alone putting together the unusual model . It was delightful to experience very little OBSTRUCTION. Ralph then invited his family to view the PRESENTATION of his hard work. Their applause lifted his spirits and he immediately went looking for another new model kit.

HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY - 03-29-2022

 HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY - 03-29-2022

One day a cowboy walked into a blacksmith shop and picked up a horseshoe, not realizing that it had just come from the forge.  He immediately dropped it and jammed his hand into his pocket, trying to act as if nothing had happened.  The blacksmith noticed and asked with a grin, "Kind of hot, wasn't it?""Nope," answered the cowboy through clenched teeth, "it just doesn't take me long to look at a horseshoe." 

Thanks to Judy of Just Ask Judy for supplying me a lot of these cartoons.  

Thanks for the links Sandee of Comedy Plus.  It is fun to see all these every Tuesday.

 

QUESTION OF THE WEEK - 03-28-2022

What is the most beautiful place you 

have ever been?

 

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY - 03-23-2022

 

This month the words/prompts are supplied by River and can be found here

 

QUESTION A FERAL CAT by Granny Annie

Sylvia did her best to entice the kitten toward her. He was very shy and he could not find an excuse to approach this silly lady. Suddenly a blackbird flew over the kitty, swaying back and forth. This frightened feline chose the better of the two evils and jumped into Sylvia's warm outstretched hands. He was practically mechanical in is moves. Could he have some kind of disorder.

Sylvia looked up at the clouds and viewed them peeling their fluff off to show an impending storm underneath. She scrambled toward the house with this yellow cat solid in her grasp. The little fellow felt like he could float. She sat the delicate kitten on the shelf as if he was a curio. He looked down and was very frightened to be on the shelf. His fear caused him to spray all around like a fountain. Now Sylvia wasn't sure she should have brought this feral stray home.

HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY - 03-22-2022

 

I went to school to become a wit. Only got halfway through.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a person gain 5 lbs.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends..

 

Thanks for the links Sandee of Comedy Plus.  It is fun to see all these every Tuesday.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK - 03-21-2022

 What’s the funniest place 

you’ve ever fallen asleep?

 

 

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY ON FRIDAY - 03-18-2022

This month the words/prompts are supplied by River and can be found here

This week's words/prompts are:

1. a cloud of dust settled around him

2. slapped in the face with a wet fish

3. I bowed my head and wept

4. I didn't know what else to do

CONFUSED VIKING by Granny Annie

The Viking King Ragnar awoke in a daze. A cloud of dust settled around him. What had happened to this mighty warrior? He felt like the mischievous god Loki had slapped him in the face with a wet fish. If we told him the truth it would shame our mighty king, I bowed my head and wept. King Ragnar shook his head over and over until he awakened clearly. He demanded to know what had happened. It would be impossible to survive if we told him he had simply slipped and fallen. We agreed to tell him he had won a mighty war with a berserker who had appeared out of the woods. I didn't know what else to do. Our brave king was happy to have defeated a giant.

HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY (ON WEDNESDAY) - 03-16-2022

 

Thanks for the links Sandee of Comedy Plus.  It is fun to see all these every Tuesday. 

QUESTION OF THE WEEK - 03-14-2022

 If you could ask your pet 3 questions, 

what would they be?

 

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY - 03-09-2022

 WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY - 03-09-2022

This month the words/prompts are supplied by River and can be found here

 

WHO WOULD EVER FORGET by Michelle and Granny Annie

Marcella approached the coffeemaker . She could not ignore the pie sitting there and had to reach for another small slice. She was a collector of desserts. It stupefied Marcella to glance in the mirror and see her reflection. Though she was dressed in the finest fashion, it was discouraging to see her ever increasing form. She pretended to be be looking at her new hat. It was time for change. She would not hesitate to arrange more sessions at the gym. She would force herself to adjust to a whole new life and turn over a clean slate. For now Marcella would share just another small segment of pie.

It was not a pleasant memory for those who witnessed the explosion of rotund Marcella.

(composed on a road trip yesterday with my daughter.)