NOT FOR ALL THE TEA IN CHINA

I saw our eye doctor on Friday. I am doing a lot more driving these days and a slight vision problem was causing concern. It seems I needed a minor prescription change and did not want to spring for new frames at this time. The vision center said I did not have to leave my glasses but they hoped I would leave them since it would be easier to fit the new lenses with the frames there . I knew reading glasses would serve until I got my glasses back, so I left them. My next stop was Walmart and I needed to be able to read some prices, etc. but did not want to purchase reading glasses since we have tons of pairs at home. Digging through the glove box of the van I found this old pair of prescription sunglasses. They are at least 15 years old. They actually worked for my main concerns and off I went to complete my shopping with these antique glasses. I only needed a white cane or a dog to complete my ensemble.

My other eye problem was caused from Tonto. (Remember my bi-pap machine -- I am the masked stranger and the machine is my faithful companion?) Anyway it is drying my eyes out and so the doctor suggested I start using Refresh PM lubricant at night. Now as I prepare for bed I have to gargle with Biotene to prevent dry mouth, and put Ayr in my nose and Refresh PM in my eyes before I don the mask. But does this make me want to give up my sleep machine? No way! It has changed, as well as saved, my life.

SHELTER FROM THE STORM

OKAY THIS WAS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE. IF YOU HAVE ARRIVED HERE AFTER THE 1ST YOU DON'T HAVE TO BOTHER READING.

Yesterday we were returning from doctor's appointments in Tulsa. We noticed a vehicle stranded on the side of the road and over my objections my good Samaritan spouse insisted that we stop and lend a hand. It seems the family had simply run out of gas and wanted a ride to the nearest gas station on the turnpike. We obliged and loaded the family of four into our accommodating van. They were very nice people. All were presentable and clean. We enjoyed a visit on the brief journey to the nearest service location and let them out while we filled our own tank.

The dad came out of the station with the sad news that he could get the gas and a gas can but they did not have a way to return the family to their vehicle so he was going to walk back and then return for his family. Ron could not allow that, so we drove them back. We have a pike pass to entering and exiting was easy for us. (Oklahoma has many toll roads for those who are not familiar with a pike pass that allows us to buy tolls in advance without having to stop and pay at each booth.) We deposited the family once again at their vehicle and after much thanks we were on our way, no worse the wear.

I was proud that Ron was willing to help and so happy the event was fairly simple with little or no trauma. It was great when we got home and we had a very restful night after our long day of appointments and helping strangers.

The surprise was this morning when, in the middle of a huge storm, we heard a knock at the door. The family from the day before all stood on our porch in the pouring rain. I opened the door and they crowded in without awaiting an invitation. Ron was still asleep and I didn't know what to do. They were so appreciative of our help from the day before and they were wondering if we would put them up for a few days since they were getting low on funds to complete their journey and could not spare their cash.

I was astounded over this request and I was even more astounded on how the heck they found our home. We had not disclosed any personal information on our journey with them the previous day, so they must have managed to follow us somehow. With Ron still sleeping, I said we would let them stay, knowing Ron probably would too. Instead when he woke up and found them here he had a hissy fit and got out his shotgun and chased them back out into the storm. What would you have done?????

I'll bet you would have said APRIL FOOLS:) lol

OUT DAMN FLY!

Tis the season of utter confusion regarding bug eradication. A few days of warmth brought the flies inside. We had a reprieve when the weather cooled again but somehow this last time the flies decided to hang around. We cannot use high powered sprays or foggers because of breathing problems so around here it all boils down to a fly swatter and a good aim. Also we cannot use the fly swatter in Slim's presence because she must have been badly treated with one before she adopted us. She cowers and hides when any fly swatter surfaces.

Yes we know about fly strips but OMG how vile those are when they dangle filled with dead and/or dying bugs. I expect to see David Hedison (1958 with Vincent Price) or Jeff Goldblum's head on one of the still living and hear a tiny voice repeating "Help me, help me" over and over.

When the children were little I would name the flies and build little houses out of match boxes. Oh how my sister hated me when I taught that to her children. They cried and cried when their mama killed George or Henry or Phillip. Hey we were poor and bored and free entertainment came in whatever form we could find. LOL

Believe me, those days are gone and I am as wicked to a fly as the next person. Keep your eye on the fly and swing. Splat, you'll get it every time...almost:)

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

HAVE YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE CHEATED THE GRIM REAPER AND HOW MANY TIMES?

Oops, thats two questions:)

One of Ron's oxygen tanks blew the regulator the other night and thankfully we heard the noise (even though both of us are deaf). Ron was able to shut the oxygen down quickly. The tank was next to our bedroom in the den where we have a gas wall heater with a pilot light burning. This near tragic event adds to a very long list of times both Ron and I have come within inches of meeting our Maker. I am pretty sure we both have cats beat with their measly nine lives:)

YIELD NOT TO TEMPTATION

We go to lab for our cardiology blood work this morning. Our cholesterol tests require fasting and so we will go early.

Do you know how difficult it is to wander around the house keep from absentmindedly picking up a bite of food? If either of us forgets we will cause the tests to be canceled for both because we like to go together.

We will be starving by the time we get out of the lab because others requiring fasting blood work will also arrive as early as possible which only makes everyone have to wait even longer.

The best remedy would be to sleep until noon then hop out of bed and head straight for the lab. Everyone else should be gone by then.

7 DAYS 8 HOURS

The freezer on my refrigerator went out. My sister's entire refrigerator went out. Her friend's washing machine went out. My daughters washing machine went out and their phone service is out. Three different cities and two states. Mercury must be in retrograde again. However, it is not and will not be for 7 days and 8 hours. All I can say is that we better watch out next week if all this is happening for no good reason.

Click to check when Mercury is in retrograde

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

DID YOUR MOTHER HAVE A RECOMMENDED CURE-ALL FOR EVERYTHING?

THE GREAT EIGHT 2011

Lined up by age.

Lined up by height.

SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING FRUIT BASKET

Last week Ron had a surgical procedure. Nancy, a dear friend of mine, brought us a basket of fruit and a small bouquet of flowers. Because I was with Ron, my daughter told Nancy that she would keep the basket in her car until she could transfer it to my car. Instead she forgot and took it home with her to Oklahoma City. Because the strawberries in the basket were very ripe, she and her family decided the humane thing to do would be to eat them. They also took mercy on the grapes and ate them as well.

My daughter brought her children for spring break and she delivered us our fruit. The remaining oranges and apples went into the refrigerator. Ron and I still had not eaten any of the fruit when the grandchildren decided to share a snack with the neighbor's horses. What could they feed them? Why not apples? Now I have oranges. We better eat an orange before they disappear.

However the goats are jealous of the horses getting those apples so I'm sure...well, you know...if goats like oranges they've got it made:)

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Don't you just hate it when you put expensive cleaner in the toilet, walk away to let it soak and almost immediately hear a flush?

F.Y.I. (1) We have wall-to-wall kids here for Spring Break; (2) I have lost total of 25 lbs to date:)

WHEN THE WIND BLOWS

We have a large family gathering scheduled to begin this Friday, March 11th, with ALL the grandchildren coming for Spring Break. Even our California kids are coming! We cannot wait for the group to gather. Our oldest grandson will be heading off to the Navy soon and three other of our eight grandchildren are graduating from high school this year, so this is pretty much the last time they will all get together before the wind blows them in many different directions.

This must be where the expression "When the wind blows, the cradle will rock" comes from:) Our family cradle is really rocking these days.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

How accurate is this chart in your life? .

RON SAYS...

"The 192,000 new jobs that have been created are for handling the job of changing rapidly rising price increase signs in the service stations!"

WHAT THE BEEP, BEEP, BLEEP IS GOING ON?

Something is beeping in our house. We both will hear it and try to search it out to no avail. One of the children must have left some kind of computer game or something and the battery is running down. If the battery is going it is certainly taking a long time to die. It will beep twice, pause then beep twice again and by the time I think I have the position pinpointed it will stop until I go away and then it will begin tormenting me again, only to stop when I need to hear it.

Any suggestions what this might be?

Don't miss my other post for today: YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011

YOU
KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011 when...


1. You accidentally
enter your PIN on the microwave..


2. You haven't
played solitaire with real cards in years.


3. You have a list
of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of
three.

4. You e-mail the
person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for
not staying in touch with friends and family is that they
don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in
your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is
home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial
on television has a web -site at the bottom of the screen.


8.. Leaving the house
without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first
20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic
and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in
the morning and go on-line before getting your
coffee

11. You start
tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You're reading
this and nodding and laughing.

13.. Even worse, you
know exactly to whom you are going to email this
message.

14. You are too busy
to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually
scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this
list
~~~~~~~~~~~AND
FINALLY~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

NOW U R LAUGHING at
yourself.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Are there any calories in broken cookies?

'

FYI -- As of this morning I have lost 22 pounds in 8 weeks:)

I WILL FOLLOW CONCHATA FERRELL

The headline read: "TWO AND A HALF MEN SHUTS DOWN" and I breathed a sigh of relief. They were finally going to put the injured sitcom out of it's misery. However the article went on to say: "...suspended for the remainder of the season" and I knew at some point they were going to attempt revival once more. Too many people hang their hats on an alcoholic druggie.

While the supporting cast has been carrying this one time favorite show of mine, they each are beginning to injure their own acting ability trying to pick up the slack for Charlie Sheen. Little Jake is little no longer and his cuteness is gone. Poor Alan appears full of more and more desperation on each episode and Evelyn is aging too rapidly from the stress. Rose already has a separate acting career so she doesn't need the show and they just use her for filler anyway. Only one character has remained stable in the original role and that is Berta played by Conchata Ferrell. I am hoping another show will pick her up and get her going again in a limelight she deserves.

No, I don't really care about what is going on in Hollywood but once in a while I get a little carried away with a weekly TV show like I did with CHEERS and it fills me with separation anxiety as I witness the beginning of the end. Yes, I know there is more to life...

WILL YOU REPEAT THAT PLEASE

Yesterday we took my sister and bil out for lunch. The waitress read off the list of specials and my sister apologized asking the young woman to repeat the list. My sister explained that she had a cold and her ears were stopped up. Yea, right.

The waitress took our orders and my bil said "Teriyaki chicken salad". The waitress adked which bread he would like with it and my bil said "Teriyaki chicken salad". LOL

The waitress asked my spouse if he was through with his salad and he said "yes". She started to take the salad bowl away and he touched her hand and said "I'm not through with that yet".

Of course I was not just and observer of the newly deaf because I said please give me the check and the waitress asked, "for all four?" and I said "No, we want one check for all four".

Perhaps it is time we enlist an interpreter to go out in public with us.

“Old Age isn't a battle; old age is a massacre.”

Philip Roth, Everyman.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Do you change clothes in front of your pets?

GRAVE TO CRADLE

This is the year that I will turn 65. In celebration of my upcoming birthday, though several months away, I am receiving mass quantities of mail. These cards and letters are congratulating me on my grand event of turning 65 and volleying for a position of first in line for my funeral:)


Everyone knows that death is inevitable but is it necessary to be reminded daily that we are each only a few moments from that big surprise party? Some of you know that I've already been there once and allowed to return therefore I have no fear of death but I also have no need to be constantly reminded. Should we be made to start each new day with doomsday proclamations?

Yesterday I received a breath of fresh air in the mail. It was from Gerber for "young mothers". There was that sweet Gerber Baby smiling at me from the corner of the envelope. Now, that's more like it.

However those are actually two things I'm not that big on participating in again...death OR raising kids.