Frankie and Slim

Frankie and Slim
Happy New Year

Sunday, October 31, 2021

Friday, October 29, 2021

A FEW MORE WEEKEND LAUGHS

HOW CHILDREN PERCEIVE THEIR GRANDPARENTS:


1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....
 
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
 
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"
 
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
 
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
 
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"
 
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
 
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."
 
10.. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said... "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
 
11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
 
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another. "He's just for good luck.. "
A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
 
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."
 
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
 
15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY - 10-26-2021

 

CONTINUED (final)

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
****************************** ****************************** ********************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** ****
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
And the winner is...
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** ***
 


 
 





 

Monday, October 25, 2021

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY - 10-19-2021

 

CONTINUED...

----------------------------- ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant      
See if that works better than a fair trial!
    ----------------------------- ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya' think?!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------











 

Friday, October 15, 2021

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY ON FRIDAY - 10-15-2021

 


This month, the prompts are being provided by Elephant’s Child.     


This week's prompts are:

 

Machine

Telephone

Fiction

Delightfully

Trap

Skulduggery

 

and/or

 

Groaned

Umbrella

Fertile

Corner

Deft

Selection

 

 LEST WE FORGET by Granny Annie


"This gall-darn machine is simply a work of fiction" Granddad muttered.  "I can't figure out the skulduggery it was created to perform."


"It's a telephone!" the grandchildren all responded delightfully. "We promise it is not a trap. Listen carefully and you can hear Grandma."

 

Granddad groaned in fear as he moved the handset to his ear.  Soon as he heard a soft whispering "Jeremiah, is that you dear?"  Grandma Myrtle was trying to coax her husband to speak into this long forgotten invention.


Jeremiah threw the phone into the corner.  He was not deft in his selection of ways to rid himself of the device.  That could not have been Myrtle talking to him.  She was out in the fertile field under her umbrella completing the Fall picking.  He could see her as plain as day.


The family prayed that Granddad would be better once Grandma could come back from the hospital. She was the only one who could calm him.



 

 



Tuesday, October 12, 2021

HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY - 10-12-2021

 

(Continued)

 

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------------
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya' think?
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!      












Friday, October 08, 2021

FELINE FRIDAY AND FRIENDLY FILL-INS 10-08-2021

 


Miss Hissy and Goliath


Friendly Fill-Ins

Here are this weeks questions:
1. I wish I could train ________ to ________.
2. I am planning to get _______ for _______.
3. I know it’s time to ______ when ________.
4. I felt brave when I _________.


I wish I could train Frankie to share.

I am planning to get a place for Frankie to view sharing.

I know it's time to calm her down when she grabs and runs.

I felt brave when I finally got the ball out of her mouth.

Frankie watching other dogs share.

 

 

 

Wednesday, October 06, 2021

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY – 10-06-2021


 

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY – 10-06-2021

This month, the prompts are being provided by Elephant’s Child.     

This week’s prompts are:

  1. Unsuitable

  2. Ladies

  3. Didn't

  4. Crocodile

  5. Home

  6. Cards

And/Or

  1. Life

  2. Wall

  3. Appeared

  4. Voice

  5. Both

  6. Slipper

     

OLIVIA'S PLIGHT by Granny Annie


The slippers were crocodile and she rejected them as unsuitable. The day would never come when Olivia would wear any animal. She left the ladies department in a huff and was heading straight for home. She didn't even stop to look at the assortment of cards on the wall at the exit door. Suddenly a stern voice stopped Olivia. Buzzers and bells sounded and it was a shock of her life. The security guard appeared in front of her and examined both of her feet. “Where do you think you are going with those?” and he pointed to her feet. She had failed to remove the slippers she had tried on and was now trying to explain. The security guard would not listen and escorted a shamed Olivia to the office where he called the police.