Frankie and Slim

Frankie and Slim
Happy New Year

Sunday, October 11, 2009


"Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler."
W. C. Fields

"Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad."

W. C. Fields

"Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again."
W. C. Fields

"I like children - fried."
W. C. Fields

Saturday morning Ron and I went to the cafe for breakfast. We were still recovering from our exhausting trip home from Illinois the day before in rain storms. For some reason it seemed to be Children's day at Mom's Cafe. Three toddlers graced our leisurely morning repast.

Toddler No. 1 was climbing out of the high chair. The devoted father was reading the newspaper and had his hand on the child but did not seem to sense that the movement taking place was an escape effort. He awakened from his trance in time to catch her as she almost plummeted head first out of the chair. If he had not caught the child, I was poised to spring to the rescue.

Toddler No. 2 was a screamer. A large family group was gathered and this kid was in Attention Heaven as all attempted to entertain this noisy child. The grandmother came up with a perfect solution. She gave the child a child-proof prescription bottle and a table knife and told him to try to open it. I kid you not! Well, it worked as the child spent the rest of the time quietly working to open the bottle. I'm pretty sure he'll be able to master any prescription bottle after this.

Toddler No.3 was a fairly pleasant child but one who refused to stay in his seat. The family allowed him to roam the restaurant and entertain the rest of us who did not appreciate it. The parents laughed with delight at what a cute child this was.

Our next stop was the grocery store and I realized we were not through with growing children yet. A mom was pushing a cart with an infant in the basket and had her toddler walking along with her. This was a hateful child and spent his time begging and asking for things then, upon hearing "no" would go into a rage and begin spanking his mother and calling her terrible names. Her response was, "O please dear don't do that. That's not nice."

As a child, my parents made it clear to me and my siblings that such behavior would not be tolerated. As a parent myself, my children knew the swift consequences that would take place if they misbehaved. We have always been able to take our grandchildren out in public and know that they would be polite and cordial to others and if they did not obey their parents, they were quickly removed from the opportunity to be a public nuisance.

Why did we encounter four toddlers from four different families and see there are no longer consequences for rude actions? If W.C. Fields did not like children in the 40's can you imagine what he would think of them today?


  1. My friend Ruth is very strict with her boys (as were our parents). She always gets compliments on how well behaved they are in public.

  2. You've hit on mr. kenju's chief pet peeve, and I confess to hating people who let children run wild in a restaurant. If I were the owner/manager, I would tell them to reseat their child immediately or leave. It is unsafe for servers and for other guests.

    I don't go too many places where that happens, however, which makes me very happy!

  3. My three could be little terrors at home when young but they always knew how to behave themselves when out in the public eye.

    Loved your post.


  4. There are behaviors that Mr. RK and I see daily that would have caused me to not live to see the second grade! The screamers are the worst. Funny, when I saw your headline, I thought about monsters eating children for breakfast!

  5. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I don't like kids. I had a few at my disco last night and they kept touching my gear, and disco lights and the parents made no effort to stop them. One kid actually started making his way to the cd deck to pull out a wire. I barked at him so loudly that he ran off crying. But one wire out like that could kill the music for the night!

    Just call me Mr Nice. :D

  6. I hear you! My son's 8 year old friend opens my fridge and helps himself to drinks without asking (while his mom watches) and whines when he doesn't play what he wants to play when he wants to play it. His sister's a joy and I can't invite one without the other, but I hate being the one to discpline other people's kids and soon enough this will stop. It getting old.

  7. Annie,

    I loved your comments about children and,of course, W.C.Fields observations about them; but, don't forget his other famous statement:

    "I am free of all prejudice.I hate everyone equally."

  8. ARG! These parents make me crazy! Not just because of the havoc their children cause but because of the confusion it causes my children. My daughter had a hard time understanding why SHE had to sit in her chair like a lady while her cousins were allowed to run around our table at a family dinner at a restaraunt.

    On the other side of it I've been a waitress dodging children. It's an accident waiting to happen. I wonder what the parents would say when you stepped on a hand or tripped over their precious little entertainer.

  9. Parenting has gone out the window for many folks these days and I, like you get very frustrated with it!

  10. At a ovely dinner out, a rare occasion, I was graced with two sets of parents. One had their children firmly behaving as expected in a public restaurnat. The others did not, by any means.

    I bought dessert for the table full of wonderfully behaving people of all ages. Anonymously.

    The other table? I walked by and told the cranky mother that her children would be happier at McDonald's so why didn't she just take them there? After all, people in polyester unforms don't care if your kids climb the furniture."

    Applause rang out from the rest of the inhabitants. And I got the look of death.

  11. Bonnie -- I was aways pleased when strangers complimented my children for being well behaved.

    Kenju -- Our minister does not like crying babies in the congregation during worship services. He once asked the parents to take the baby out and that was the last time he had to do that in his 29 years at our church. Mr. Kenju would like that. Ron does:)

    Yvonne -- the same for mine. Terrors at home and angels in public.

    Riot Kitty -- you pictured actually what I intended. LOL

    Joe -- That was probably the first time that kid had ever been corrected. Good for you!

    Scarlet -- It was a critical event in our poor home when children or adults helped themselves to food. I carefully planned menus and really could not spare food for drop in company. It was awful when I would see them help themselves to something I planned to include in a meal recipe.

    OGO -- you are so right about the confusion these hellions cause well behaved kids. It is all I can do to keep from correcting the child myself but I also know how full of rage people are these days and don't want to invite trouble.

    Changes -- yep equal frustrations these days.

    Pheromone Girl -- I wish you could have leaned over and whispered to the misbehaving children that the other kids were getting free dessert for being so good!

  12. Nancy -- W.C. Fields is much needed in this day and time!

  13. There is an award for you on my blog. :)

  14. Anonymous6:00 PM

    I borrowed Joe's pc for a second and came to your site!

    I make a point of asking to be seated where there are no little angels that want to amuse me by kicking the seat, leaning over the back to drip drool down my shoulder, or scream that high pitched scream that pierces my brain cells.

    This is always accompanied by a parent who is pretending not to see it, praising them for being SO CUTE, or threatening dire actions and never following through.

    My daughter had ONE tantrum after seeing a neighbor get away with it. She layed on the floor and cried and kicked. I asked "Are you done now?" and when she said "yes" I pulled her up and paddled her.

    Too much? Yes, no doubt. But she knew it didn't pay and never did it again.

    I understand why some animals eat their young.

  15. I NEVER had that problem with my kids. Of course we have friends who thought nothing of letting their kids run and scream when we would go out to eat. And the grandbabies all behave too or we don't stay. I don't know why this day and age parents don't seem to care.

  16. Well,I don't have children but you sure can tell a difference in parenting by how the children behave! I think a lot of folks with kids just want them out of the way and don't want to be bothered with them. Then they end up letting the kids get by with anything just so they don't have to make them behave or take the time to try and teach them right from wrong. It's a shame.