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| Who relishes the "potential" to go through things like this again? Picture from hospital stay in October. |
I was there for a long, long lobby wait and exam room wait then a 3 minute visit with my doctor to find out my last CT scan was fine and I still do not have cancer. Why didn't he just call me or have his nurse tell me? Instead of shouting hooray I left tired, angry and very hungry. Now you know I am selfish. The inconvenience of this long wait to see my doctor upset me.
Because of the type of tumors that were removed in October, a doctor at Johns Hopkins who reviewed the pathology, insisted I be checked every three months for two years and every six months for three years after that because I have the "potential" for cancer to invade my body.
I am a very impatient person. I am ashamed of that. Suddenly the "if onlys" began to fill my mind. "If only" Ron had had these kind of check ups to avoid his cancer. "If only" my sil had known of the potential and avoided her breast cancer. "If only" these people in the treatment rooms had been able to avoid chemotherapy and radiation.
My attitude is changed, hopefully my impatience can be checked and I will give thanks that I have been granted this option to remain healthy. My desire will be NOT to reach my "potential". My waiting time will be spent with thoughts of concern and prayers for the healing of others.
As an aside note, I was worrying about Ron being out in the waiting room so long. I knew he must be concerned about the length of time I was in the exam room. Instead I came out to find him happily chatting up a lovely blonde woman, charming her with his tales of the sea. He knows how to pass the time:)
Does seem like a waste of time to have all that wait with info that could have been sent by phone or email even but glad the news was good anyhow.
ReplyDeleteYes,it seems your Dr could have sent the message, "report looks good, if you'd like to visit with me about it, please call for an appointment. But if he had done that who would have made the payment on his new kitchen?
ReplyDeleteIt's sometimes very hard for some of us to gain patience until we're forced into it.
In 1996 I spent almost 400 hours in chemo therapy and Dr appts and lab stuff and etc. I gained some patience but spending that much time with a lot of others who had no hope taught me that.
Changes in the wind -- Next time I will make sure we are not scheduled on the same day and I can go alone without Ron having to wait for me. That will probably enhance my patience.
ReplyDeleteCliff -- I once gave my mother a little angel pin that was called "Patience". I now have that pin and will wear it on all my visits to the doctors. Like you, Ron's many hours in chemo and radiation taught him a lot of patience and he gets a bit frustrated with me. As much as I want to be magnanimous about this, I too think the doctor was paying for a new kitchen or car or boat:)
ReplyDeleteI wont go into a rant here about the doctors. I've had my own issues with them as well as insurance companies thru the years and that would require me to write a book concerning my thoughts and experiences.
all I do know is I want so much for You and Ron to be WELL as all others according to their need.
I am wishing it for you from my heart..
love ya bunches~!!!
A lot of hugs, for having to put up with the waiting.
ReplyDeleteDoctors probably have their own reasoning and also now they are dictated by HMO rules.
I am glad that your hubby is getting stronger and you do have a valid point about the "What ifs"
A quick suggestion :- May be you can bring your favorite book or magazine or even knitting or some thing like that with you. Also taking a small snack with you could help( unless you are going for a fasting blood test.)
Does your doctor know that you have an 80 mile drive and that you would be willing to hear good news over the phone? It might be a legal issue. I would say he want the visit fee, but with the increasing shortage of doctors and the increasing aging population, I do not think that would be the reason. I am glad that both of you are now on the easy side of the hill on this healing and can look forward to walking and enjoying spring in a few months.
ReplyDeleteThey should have called you. Tabor is right. I would definitely tell the doc that soon.
ReplyDeleteLong drive and wait for the good news. But thank goodness it's positive news. I'm so glad to hear that.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the news was good though.
ReplyDeleteLike Joe - I'm glad the news was good, but I hate that you had to wait so long. I am indignant on your behalf. But I love the sentiment at the end, that at least they are doing due diligence with your health.
ReplyDeleteGosh Ann I wish everybody would get those kind of results too and a doctor that was watching them for two years. You are a lucky girl with a good attitude. I hope you remain cancer free. I must've missed something because I didn't know you had cancer I thought you had heart trouble. Well I hope you have a good day!
ReplyDeleteHere's to Health! (That's me clinking a glass of Oregon Pinot Gris) Yes, a phone call would have been so much better. Sometimes doesn't it seem that common sense gets thrown out the window.
ReplyDeleteYour husband knows how to cheer himself up and if that was Steve I would have made the font much larger.
Like everyone else, I'm glad your news wa good, but sorry you had to go through what you did to get it. It sounds like Ron knows how to make the most of his waiting time. :)
ReplyDeleteDear Annie, it is understandable to 'impatient' and I used to accompany my Mom to the hospital and the way is horrendous!!!! I looked around and observed patients waiting and the frustration just built up.
ReplyDeleteI wish that all is well with you and Ron and wishing both of you best of health always.
Hey, you're not selfish - a LONG roundtrip for a 3-minute announcement would piss me off too! Especially in winter.
ReplyDeleteI'm impatient, too (one more thing we have in common!) But you probably figured that out already. (If you hadn't, why not? Just kidding!)
I am so glad you are both improving!
Good News is wonderful..
ReplyDeleteWaiting so long is not...
Sorry it was so stressful to waste time just being ok!!!
ReplyDeleteJust tell yourself it's nothing but fat, n will always only be fat! Take it's potential away....
That's what I do n it works- point at it n call it "fat!" out loud often. It will listen.
Note: all our outpatient places ban cell phone use! hospital especially-
80 mile drive both ways? Wow! That is exhausting. I'm glad you're doing well, Annie. We took my mom for a blood pressure check and had to wait 45 minutes which had me irritated. I need a little lesson on patience too.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting my blog and leaving a wonderful comment.Sorry to note about the long wait at the Oncology OP and the continued need for periodical reviews & tests. Can be very exhausting & nerve racking both mentally & physically. The anxiety & fear can create tremendous turmoil & zap & drain your energy completely. Hence your "impatience" is understandable. Best wishes for continued good health & may your tumor remain always benign.
ReplyDeleteof course you know i relate to this - i have a similar scedule and the last time i got a bit of a scare, but it was not considered anything after a follow-up. It does seem way too much
ReplyDeleteMy former eye-doctor's group practice (that I was a patient at for about 46 years. I'm 47 now), used to overbook big time, so I was lucky if my eye appointment clocked in under 1 1/2 hours.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you don't have cancer. I have not heard of watching tumors so closely because of their potential. But I have had breast cancer and got a big unnecessary scare just before Christmas. But I understand mixed feelings of anger, impatience and gratefulness all at the same time.
ReplyDeleteTo all of you: Blogger lost the individual replies I made to your wonderful comments (except for the first few). This is my second day of crazy computer problems. Thanks to each of you for your supportive, understanding, and wise comments on this post.
ReplyDeleteMy dear Granny Annie, don't be too hard on yourself for feeling impatient. No one expects you to be a buddha. You have been going through a ton of stress lately. You're probably on your last nerve, and no one likes waiting around inside a hospital. You're doing your best; you're being very courageous, and that's all that anyone can ask of you. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteWhy not get the phone call? I'm with you there. It's bad enough you have to travel a long way to have the tests done in the first place. I'm not getting that and it's not about patience but common sense.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, I'm thankful that you're both doing so well and getting all this good news! Life's good...especially for Ron in the waiting room. ;)
Good news! I would feel as impatient as you....
ReplyDeleteGreetings from Germany, Jutta
Sometimes I read something from a blog and I know instantly that this is my kind of gal. I've known this about this woman for a while now. Actually, I knew I would like her as soon as I saw she was a chicken farmer with a great sense of humor. I admit it...I began stalking her blog a bit. Okay, more than a bit. I think she is great. Great and inspiring. And cool. super cool. Just thought you all should know.
ReplyDeleteI get to see your blog every now and again through the eyes of my wife, Simply June, and there are so many things I am so impressed with.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your insights and your ability to help keep all things in perspective.
I pray that your reports will continue to be positive, and that Ron will be able to soundly beat this crap that he putting up with. And, yes, I do think that God very well understands what I'm talking about when I ask Him to "help Ron beat this crap".