Slim stretch

Slim stretch

Saturday, January 31, 2009

WHEN TO YELL FIRE

These are my testimonials to the fact that we should always heed warnings from Smokey The Bear and other wise firefighters. Here are two fire incidents in my life. A friend of mine on Facebook reminded me of this first incident.

Incident One:

I do not smoke but my non-smoking only started five years ago. Before that I smoked like a chimney. Before total bans occurred in the workplace, those of us with private offices were allowed to smoke in our offices. The bad thing about my office was that it was totally glass. People entering the bank could easily see if I was in because they could see a cloud of smoke. One particularly slow day I decided to touch up a chipped fingernail and did so very quickly, not wanting to be caught working on my nails. Shortly thereafter I decided to have a cigarette. I was smoking as I looked across the lobby to see our bank president and the switchboard operator staring at me in horror. It seems that I was ON FIRE! The cigarette had caught my newly polished nail on fire and I had scratched my head without realizing it and my hair was on fire. As I put the fire out, I noticed the two across the lobby rolling on the floor in hysterics. (And no, they made no efforts to extinguish my burning hair.)

Incident Two:

My freshman year in college my efforts to blend socially were not going well. My greatest fear was if I attended one of the many college parties I would be totally excluded. Finally my roommate Mary talked me into attending a lake party with a large group from our dorm. Surely I would feel comfortable with my friends surrounding me. Walking into the crowd I was immediately hit with discomfort. I found myself in the forever role of wallflower. A good idea was to hold a drink and I was near the dessert table so I was able to help myself to the delicious punch. Later I learned that punch was made of Ever clear and Orange Juice. Gradually I began to feel a little more comfortable and was watching the people on the dance floor. Someone said something funny and I threw my head back in laughter. Then my most frightening expectation came true as everyone at the party attacked me and started beating on me. This attack was not because they didn't like me however, it was because, yep, I was ON FIRE! When I threw back my highly hair sprayed head, it went into a candle and ignited. The people are the party were only putting me out not beating me up. Needless to say, I was never ignored at parties after that. Everyone knew who "Annie" was!

Check "I Love Your Blog" link. (I call it Hooray Linda's Back!)

Yesterday was at Nora's Chez Pez.

17 comments:

Changes in the wind said...

Well with those statistics it is a good thing you quit smoking:)

Tabor said...

Both of these stories are great. What funny incidents and lucky resolutions. Hope you tell them to your grandchildren...when a moral is needed.

Loving Annie said...

Oh dear... Glad that you can laugh about both of those incicidents now :)

Linda G. said...

Ooh my gosh! I had to LOL so much Ee rushed to read this!
But, you were so lucky! Did you lose much hair in either of these lucky escapes?

Marla said...

Most people probably would never experience catching on fire once in a lifetime but Twice. You need to be real careful around fire!! You gave up cigarettes but did you give up hairspray! I use quite a bit of hairspray, I could ignite at anytime!

Nancy said...

Annie,

Never mind the hair! Thank goodness you weren't wearing Aretha's hat when you caught fire.

Now, THAT would have been a tragedy......

Darlene said...

Oh my goodness - to have your hair on fire twice in your life is certainly a rarity. It was lucky that you weren't injured worse than you were. You must have thick hair.

It would make a funny skit on a comedy show, but I doubt that you found it funny at the time.

Winifred said...

Oh dear you were very lucky. Anyway you can laugh about it so that's good.

Scarlet said...

Wow, you were really HOT back then! ;)

Seriously, I'm glad you made it through those 2 incidents without permanent injuries, and the way you retell the stories...hilarious! :D

Michele said...

I have to say when I saw what Jenny wrote on FB, I laughed out loud when I got the visual. So you were "that" girl at the party who set herself on fire! I was at a party and that happened to a girl there, she was trying to light a cigarette and her puffy hairsprayed bangs caught on fire. (no it wasn't me) I wonder how many people this happens to? Funny stuff and glad you came out of it unscathed!

kenju said...

There really IS a silver lining to everything, isn't there? LOL
I'm glad you didn't burn anything serious!

Granny Annie said...

Tabor, I'll tell the grandchildren the statistics Monica mentioned on why not to smoke.

Yes Loving Annie, I can laugh now and believe me, people who know these stories love to laugh too at my expense.

Linda, as a matter of fact these incidents could be the reasons I am now bald.

Marla, I actually have two more fire storieis but thought I would create concern in my blogger friends if I shared them all at once.

Nancy, I'm so glad to be hearing from you again. Well, Aretha's hat is insured for several million so it would have been may gain. LOL

My hair around the sides and back is very thick. I am bald on top and wear various wigs. Maybe the fires caused this Darlene?

Yes Winifred, we all laugh at these stories, especially the office one. I actually noticed my burning fingernail before my burning hair.

Hot is right Scarlet. You are sooooo funny!

Michele, you mean you never heard these stories before? Maybe you just weren't paying attention because I'm sure I told you and Chelle as a warning about smoking or about what not to drink at parties.

Judy, it's a silver lining or guardian angels. Either way, I am quite fortunate it wasn't worse.

Riot Kitty said...

Thank you for the laughs! I am glad you quit smoking...I'm also an ex-smoker and somehow I have developed an allergy to the smoke now! That said, I never set myself on fire.

JeanMac said...

Yup, safest for you that you quit! Thanks for the laughs.

Darth Weasel said...

Okay, someone has to say it and nobody else has stepped up to the plate...so I will handle it.

Sometimes when you write, do you feel like you really nail it? Because when you wrote this post, you were...*groan* on fire!

I'll get me coat...

Bonnie said...

Makes me glad that I never started smoking...I don't use hairspray and only do my nails on special occasions, lol. I'm glad you came out of all your events unscathed.

pheromone girl said...

Former smokers are Nazi about those who aren't former yet - loved your stories. I remember many a day in my 1980s advertising career when I would open my office door to the annoyed coughs of my coworkers.

So now, to set things right, I squirt the cigarettes of smokers standing on street corners with my squirt gun. Now that people are not allowed to smoke in bars in Portland, it should be a fun summer activity....