QUESTION OF THE WEEK...
What has life taught you recently?
&
HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY
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Innuendo: Italian suppository.
"When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."
Woman sitting at home on the veranda with her husband and she says: "I love you."
He asks: "Is that you or the wine talking?"
She replies: "It's me ............... talking to the wine."
DID YOU KNOW...
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The first testicular guard, the 'Cup' was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
"Why should you never play poker with the word's fastest animal? Because he's a Cheetah."
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
What animal or insect bites/stings have you ever suffered?
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| Oklahoma Black Wasp |
DID YOU KNOW...
Once upon a time, the famous conqueror Napoleon Bonaparte was attacked
by…bunnies. The emperor had requested that a rabbit hunt be arranged for
himself and his men. His chief of staff set it up and had men round up
reportedly 3,000 rabbits for the occasion. When the rabbits were
released from their cages, the hunt was ready to go. At least that was
the plan! But the bunnies charged toward Bonaparte and his men in a
viscous and unstoppable onslaught. And we were taught that Waterloo was
the conqueror's greatest defeat…
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Age is important, only if you're a cheese.
"A fellow reached for his liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of white-out. He woke the next morning with a huge correction."
Those drinking to forget please pay in advance.
"Regarding apathy, I have no opinion."
FRIDAY FACE OFF 7/8/22
I was an active participant in the JKPP for a number of years.
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| A favorite "Markering" of mine from 2012 |
I will link up with DVArtist Nicole
DID YOU KNOW...
This
month, the prompts are being provided by Hilary
Melton-Butcher and are being posted by Elephant's
Child.
Sheriff McGraw was shocked by the hurley-burley taking place in the jail. He took out his notepad and began writing down the names he could remember. The prisoners had been confined for a few days and had been well behaved. Now their sonorous voices caused the sheriff to call for backup from his deputies. McGraw could see that one of the inmates held a trenchant blade and emitted a crazed cackling sound. These jailbirds were all throwing their left-over semolina pasta all over the cells in protest of the county's failure to keep them nourished. Meals of pasta and porridge were not enough. They were scraping their blue tin cups across the gird of the spaced bars as the atmosphere became more threatening.
The exhausted Sheriff gave up on his deputies arriving in time. He exited the jail, locking the building behind him. McGraw left the wild incarcerated maniacs to their own devices.
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Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?' Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!' They are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?' 'I lied about my age', Bob replies. 'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'
Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'
What has been the most terrifying moment of your life thus far?
Happy Independence Day to those in the USA😊
DID YOU KNOW...
During Prohibition in the United States, the U.S. government literally poisoned alcohol. When people continued to consume alcohol despite its banning, law officials got frustrated and decided to try a different kind of deterrent—death. They ordered the poisoning of industrial alcohols manufactured in the U.S., which were products regularly stolen bootleggers. By the end of Prohibition in 1933, the federal poisoning program is estimated to have killed at least 10,000 people.
This
month, the prompts have been being provided by Charlotte/Mother
Owl at her blog.
Humdrum
Hapless
Righteous
Puny
Troubled
Quirky
And/or this photo:
Darlene tip-toed into her parent's bedroom. "Psst, psst, psst" she whispered in her daddy's ear. He could tell she was troubled so he questioned her quietly, "What's going on sweetheart?" and Darlene responded, "Someone is in the house."
"Don't worry it's just your mom. She went to the kitchen."
"It's not me" Mom interjected, "I'm right here." and Darlene and her dad looked to see mom in the room. She seemed humdrum on the subject of her daughter's concern.
"Well" Dad responded "it is a quirky night and the wind is probably bumping tree limbs against your window.
"It is none of that." came a voice from a puny fellow standing in the doorway to the room. He was acting very righteous. The little guy was holding a gun and had a big voice. He ordered the family to stay in the bedroom while he gathered the loot he was planning to steal.
It all turned into a hapless adventure when a neighbor saw their light, sensed a problem, and called the police. The cops were awaiting the thief as he attempted to flee out the backdoor.
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My spouse told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.
I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.
I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count.
DID YOU KNOW
