HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY...09-16-2025

 

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

 

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

 

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL .

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

 

4. My father taught me LOGIC .

" Because I said so, that's why ."

 

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

 

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

 

7. My father taught me IRONY .

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

 

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

 

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .

"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

 

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

 

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

 

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

 

13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

 

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .

"Stop acting like your father!"

 

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

 

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .

"Just wait until we get home"

 

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .

"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"

 

1 8 . My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

 

19. My mother taught me ESP .

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

 

20. My father taught me HUMOR .

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

 

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

 

22. My mother taught me GENETICS .

"You're just like your father."

 

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

 

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.

 

25. My father taught me about JUSTICE .

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"