Yesterday my neighbors came and helped me take care of the animals. It was a wonderful feeling and a horrible feeling at the same time. Many, many people my age are struggling with daily pain and they work through it. Even these neighbors who helped me have their own medical problems.
Who am I to think I deserve to let others do so much for me? I just see my darling Ron, in pain since the age of 35, and getting so much work done, despite the pain. I am ashamed.
Today I vow to move forward and do my own work, no matter how slowly, and get it done. I cannot just sit until March 3rd, when my next shot is due. I cannot hold still waiting for the hip replacement. Here are two inspiring quotes to get me going:
“Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.” ~ Joseph Campbell
“Ummmmmmur Ahhhhhmmrr, Uhrrr Alddamur Aaaarhg...”~ Chewbacca
“Ummmmmmur Ahhhhhmmrr, Uhrrr Alddamur Aaaarhg...”~ Chewbacca
it is always difficult for those of us who have come to a place of "needing help" from others. For me it is hard. I want to do it myself and will try, but can not. When some one helps me, it is difficult, i think i am slowly learning patience and humility in all of that
ReplyDeleteI can empathize with you. David needs more help from me as the months go by. I have to help him with his socks and his brace, now, besides getting him things so he doesn't have to leave his chair. Sad what arthritis does to one's quality of life.
ReplyDeleteIt's a hard place to be in when you have to depend on others for help with things you used to do easily.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter was in chronic pain from rowing and a steroid shot in the hip didn't provide long term relief. She went to another orthopedic doctor who was used to treating rowing injuries and, with some manipulation, my daughter became pain free. She also swears by rolfing.
Hang in there, girl. You're lucky to have people around you who care.
Have you tried massage? I mean the serious stuff. I have a friend whose new boyfriend is in massage therapy (aka rolfing) and she says he is amazing at easing pain in the darndest places. Not sure it would help bone problems but it would be worth a try. I do hope you find relief.
ReplyDeleteWhen someone helps you, you are helping them to feel good about themselves. I try to remember that.
There was a time (long ago) when I felt I couldn't accept help and then a friend told me I was denying people the pleasure of assisting me. Since then I express my heartfelt appreciation when someone wants to help me. Sometimes you help others, Annie, and other times you are the one needing help. Don't force yourself into extra pain - you don't want to damage the hip further.
ReplyDeletePain can make us crazy. Take good care of yourself and give your Doc a call to see if there is an interim solution. You are lucky to have such good neighbors.
ReplyDeleteMy Dad broke his hip, and no one knew, which is beyond my comprehension, when they realised he had it's begun to heal, but of course he now can't walk. In fact he is now so frail he can't even stand. Today I saw him and he looked like a prisoner from a German concentration camp. Now his brain is dying. I'm finding it really hard to see him, coz he's no longer my Dad, but of course he is.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find the strength and medical care to live your life to the full again.
The shots didn't do much for me. I found a YMCA with a pool and hot tub, and I joined. I do half an hour water aerobics and fifteen minutes of the exercises in the hot tub. I was right back at it after they fixed my hip, and I believe that this helps/helped with the pain.
ReplyDeleteJust see inside yourself. You have so much love for your pets and your chicks. Let some one else take care care of them until you are all better. I am sure your pets can feel what you are going through. Pets are like that.
ReplyDeleteLook forward to getting better by promising yourself a treat
for dealing with the pain. Then when you are all better get the treat you promised yourself.
It is hard to watch a loved one in pain.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Barb. Don't deny others the pleasure of being of service.
But, I always believe things happen for a reason, that our souls are telling us something. Whether your pain tells you to accept help or to realize your own strength is for you to determine.
Walk on your hands...LOL...every family has to have a wise guy.
ReplyDeleteI think you totally deserve the attention. Your family and friends love you very much. And you give so much yourself.
ReplyDeleteHappy Valentines Day, Annie! xo
Chewbacca was such a wimp. You are not. Pain is very real and it sucks the of out of most people. I do hope you feel better and there is nothing wrong with taking it slow. Think of it this way. It keeps people like me employed! And I love what I do. So, there ya go. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that you are having such pain. Pain is very difficult to deal with, especially if it is not the norm. My mother-in-law lived with chronic pain for many, many years, and I did not appreciate her suffering until I got injured and needed a knee replacement. I found pain to be so depressing after a while. I hope that you get relief soon. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're feeling better soon. I'm really lazy these days but I don't even have my cats to look after. Only pick up my granddaughter a couple of times a week so some days I sit in the armchair & knit. Just like a real old lady.
ReplyDeleteGranny Annie, I am 100% sure that you have been a giver your whole life. Now it's your turn to be a receiver. Do you deserve it? Of course! Would you hold anyone else to the crazy-high standard you are judging yourself by? No way. Lady, you are going to have to learn to tolerate kindness without being ashamed of yourself. Ain't nobody got time for that! Be humble, sure, but not ashamed.
ReplyDeleteLove and Hugs.
You have no reason to be ashamed but I suspect, like me, you are a better nurse than patient.
ReplyDeleteAt some point all of us will need some help and you can think of it as your good karma, since you have helped so many others.
I empathise, Annie. I've arthritis in my hips...worse in my right hip than my left and after standing on a hard tiled floor at length last week preparing some goodies for the wedding I was attending...my hips certainly let me know. And then I had to try and hide my discomfort from everyone on the Saturday.
ReplyDeleteIt makes you feel exhausted just trying to appear "normal"...and even more so for me, because I don't think I've ever been normal! Hehehehe!
Take good care, Annie. :)