OUT DAMN FLY!

Tis the season of utter confusion regarding bug eradication. A few days of warmth brought the flies inside. We had a reprieve when the weather cooled again but somehow this last time the flies decided to hang around. We cannot use high powered sprays or foggers because of breathing problems so around here it all boils down to a fly swatter and a good aim. Also we cannot use the fly swatter in Slim's presence because she must have been badly treated with one before she adopted us. She cowers and hides when any fly swatter surfaces.

Yes we know about fly strips but OMG how vile those are when they dangle filled with dead and/or dying bugs. I expect to see David Hedison (1958 with Vincent Price) or Jeff Goldblum's head on one of the still living and hear a tiny voice repeating "Help me, help me" over and over.

When the children were little I would name the flies and build little houses out of match boxes. Oh how my sister hated me when I taught that to her children. They cried and cried when their mama killed George or Henry or Phillip. Hey we were poor and bored and free entertainment came in whatever form we could find. LOL

Believe me, those days are gone and I am as wicked to a fly as the next person. Keep your eye on the fly and swing. Splat, you'll get it every time...almost:)

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

HAVE YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE CHEATED THE GRIM REAPER AND HOW MANY TIMES?

Oops, thats two questions:)

One of Ron's oxygen tanks blew the regulator the other night and thankfully we heard the noise (even though both of us are deaf). Ron was able to shut the oxygen down quickly. The tank was next to our bedroom in the den where we have a gas wall heater with a pilot light burning. This near tragic event adds to a very long list of times both Ron and I have come within inches of meeting our Maker. I am pretty sure we both have cats beat with their measly nine lives:)

YIELD NOT TO TEMPTATION

We go to lab for our cardiology blood work this morning. Our cholesterol tests require fasting and so we will go early.

Do you know how difficult it is to wander around the house keep from absentmindedly picking up a bite of food? If either of us forgets we will cause the tests to be canceled for both because we like to go together.

We will be starving by the time we get out of the lab because others requiring fasting blood work will also arrive as early as possible which only makes everyone have to wait even longer.

The best remedy would be to sleep until noon then hop out of bed and head straight for the lab. Everyone else should be gone by then.

7 DAYS 8 HOURS

The freezer on my refrigerator went out. My sister's entire refrigerator went out. Her friend's washing machine went out. My daughters washing machine went out and their phone service is out. Three different cities and two states. Mercury must be in retrograde again. However, it is not and will not be for 7 days and 8 hours. All I can say is that we better watch out next week if all this is happening for no good reason.

Click to check when Mercury is in retrograde

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

DID YOUR MOTHER HAVE A RECOMMENDED CURE-ALL FOR EVERYTHING?

THE GREAT EIGHT 2011

Lined up by age.

Lined up by height.

SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING FRUIT BASKET

Last week Ron had a surgical procedure. Nancy, a dear friend of mine, brought us a basket of fruit and a small bouquet of flowers. Because I was with Ron, my daughter told Nancy that she would keep the basket in her car until she could transfer it to my car. Instead she forgot and took it home with her to Oklahoma City. Because the strawberries in the basket were very ripe, she and her family decided the humane thing to do would be to eat them. They also took mercy on the grapes and ate them as well.

My daughter brought her children for spring break and she delivered us our fruit. The remaining oranges and apples went into the refrigerator. Ron and I still had not eaten any of the fruit when the grandchildren decided to share a snack with the neighbor's horses. What could they feed them? Why not apples? Now I have oranges. We better eat an orange before they disappear.

However the goats are jealous of the horses getting those apples so I'm sure...well, you know...if goats like oranges they've got it made:)

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Don't you just hate it when you put expensive cleaner in the toilet, walk away to let it soak and almost immediately hear a flush?

F.Y.I. (1) We have wall-to-wall kids here for Spring Break; (2) I have lost total of 25 lbs to date:)

WHEN THE WIND BLOWS

We have a large family gathering scheduled to begin this Friday, March 11th, with ALL the grandchildren coming for Spring Break. Even our California kids are coming! We cannot wait for the group to gather. Our oldest grandson will be heading off to the Navy soon and three other of our eight grandchildren are graduating from high school this year, so this is pretty much the last time they will all get together before the wind blows them in many different directions.

This must be where the expression "When the wind blows, the cradle will rock" comes from:) Our family cradle is really rocking these days.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

How accurate is this chart in your life? .

RON SAYS...

"The 192,000 new jobs that have been created are for handling the job of changing rapidly rising price increase signs in the service stations!"

WHAT THE BEEP, BEEP, BLEEP IS GOING ON?

Something is beeping in our house. We both will hear it and try to search it out to no avail. One of the children must have left some kind of computer game or something and the battery is running down. If the battery is going it is certainly taking a long time to die. It will beep twice, pause then beep twice again and by the time I think I have the position pinpointed it will stop until I go away and then it will begin tormenting me again, only to stop when I need to hear it.

Any suggestions what this might be?

Don't miss my other post for today: YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011

YOU
KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011 when...


1. You accidentally
enter your PIN on the microwave..


2. You haven't
played solitaire with real cards in years.


3. You have a list
of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of
three.

4. You e-mail the
person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for
not staying in touch with friends and family is that they
don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in
your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is
home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial
on television has a web -site at the bottom of the screen.


8.. Leaving the house
without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first
20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic
and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in
the morning and go on-line before getting your
coffee

11. You start
tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You're reading
this and nodding and laughing.

13.. Even worse, you
know exactly to whom you are going to email this
message.

14. You are too busy
to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually
scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this
list
~~~~~~~~~~~AND
FINALLY~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

NOW U R LAUGHING at
yourself.