"People are always asking me how much I'm worth. Well, all I can say is, I've got enough money to last me the rest of my life. As long as I die in the next 20 minutes." - George Burns
"We were soooooo poor, we went to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick the other kid's fingers."
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
Join Happy Tuesday and link your funnies to Sandee at Comedy Plus.