Slim and Franke

Slim and Franke
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Monday, April 15, 2019

TAKE HER/HIM IN

Question Of The Week 04-15-19

Do you take in your teenage child's friend who claims
 horrible parental abuse?

20 comments:

  1. That is such a tough one because you don't know the child is exaggerating or lying but you can't completely ignore what the child says either. You don't want parents falsely accused nor do you want an abused child. A discussion with that child has to begin the process and then a course of action has to be decided upon after the discussion. (Rob)

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    1. Great answer Rob. Discussion first and getting a sense of the child's truthfulness.

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  2. Not having a teen child, however I would believe the kid, give him shelter and report the abuse. There is too much of this going on but if it is just in his mind the authorities would work it out.

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    1. We ignored one of my friends when we were teenagers and at our 50th high school reunion, learned she was absolutely a victim of abuse in her home. Sad, sad after the fact.

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    1. Well you are not confused on that matter are you? :-)

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  4. No children here. I hope so. One of my nieces has taken in the friend of one of her children who is transgender and going through a very rough time. I applaud the support she offers.

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    1. So many young people are struggling with their identity and don't seem to have family support. Good for your niece.

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  5. My first husband worked for child protection for a while (he went happily back to working in adult prison after that stint). One weekend he was on call. He had gone to play racketball and, in the days before cell phones, I got the call that a child was claiming abuse and needed immediate attention. I called the rec center and got my husband out of his game. After he met with the kid, he determined that the abuse was that his parents were not letting him join his friends until he completed his chore of stacking fire wood. My husband was not happy and told the kid that not having firewood in a VT winter would be considered neglect/abuse but under the presenting circumstance he did not have a case.
    Me, I'm more of a bleeding heart but then I have been burned a lot too.

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    1. I have heard about a lot of children calling 911 reporting abuse only for the officers to learn it was some petty thing and the parents needed support more than the child.

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  6. Did so, more than once. They would move in when things got bad, go back when they could, but they were and still are always welcome here.

    You asked about Jack and how long he has to wait. Daddy works at home most of the time (real estate), and takes Jack with him a lot. He was only having to wait until the afternoon that day. Once in so often Daddy is out of town for a day or two, and Jack really feels it.

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    1. It sounds like your help kept the kid out of the system.

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  7. Maybe for one night after that there would be some investigating.

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    1. Would you let the parents know you were allowing the child to stay with you?

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  8. It depends on how much you know of the situation. When my kids were teens, there were occasions where we provided hope for other kids.

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  9. If I had been in the position to do so I would have done so, I am sure. However, I was never faced with something as distressing as that.

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  10. I am surprised Lee because it seems you have been faced with ever problem life has to offer:-)

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  11. Only for a few days so she wouldn't run away.

    Then there was an 18 year old who got kicked out from work when I was a supervisor.

    Then there was an emotional adoptee whose Mother couldn't accept her sexual orientation.

    So yeah, I helped a few kids from other folks, but not through legal adoption.

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  12. That's a dilemma if you don't really know the child. You would feel terrible if they were being abused and you ignored them. However "abuse" depends on how they define it.
    I remember my daughter saying she was a deprived child as she was the only person in her class who didn't have a video recorder at home!

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