Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
-- Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 5
It just happened with my mother this weekend. The burden of keeping the secret about her abusive behaviour to us all came out. I know both my brother and myself feel better for saying it, but the sh*t has hit the fan now.
I really try to keep confidences. However, if I feet someone would be badly hurt because of something I knew, I'd spill the beans. This reminds me of when my then 5 year old Granddaughter was going to share one of her many secrets with me. I reminded her that I would keep her secret unless I felt her parents really should know about what she was telling me. Her reply, "Well, then you aren't my secret keeper anymore, Grammy!"
I believe I'm an expert keeper of secrets. If I'm asked to keep one...something that is very personal to the one asking me to do so, I will respect that person's wishes, as I would expect them to respect mine.
There are many people I wouldn't share a secret with, simply because I wouldn't trust them to keep it.
Everyone doesn't have to know everything about everyone. :)
I think if a secret must be told it would be because someone's safety is at risk. And I would first tell/discuss it with the teller. It would be done as gently as possible and with hurting as few people as possible.
My brother grilled me recently, but I told him the other person had to tell them. That was pressure! I did reveal I was keeping a requested secret tho, because it's important that he find out from the horses' mouth. There are plenty I will take to the grave, no matter what. Health history tho is important to the grandkids I think. People just don't want the Facebook pity thing happening I think!
I would have to take each individual case into account as a separate question, so I can't provide a generalized answer. However, I take secrets very seriously, so there would have to be an extremely compelling case for breaking confidence.
It just happened with my mother this weekend. The burden of keeping the secret about her abusive behaviour to us all came out. I know both my brother and myself feel better for saying it, but the sh*t has hit the fan now.
ReplyDeleteFor anything concerning my self - a moment of growth...concerning someone else - nothing
ReplyDeleteI am not good in keeping secrets. If I had one, I would reveal it only to help some who could be helped by me.
ReplyDeleteIf keeping it hurt other people.
ReplyDeleteNobody I know would tell me a secret they wanted to keep secret.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteOnly if My or my childrens life was a serious risk.. a secret and the keeping of it is a matter of honor..
If someone would be hurt by keeping the secret. I don't like secrets (except for gift type ones). They too often conceal/perpetuate pain and lies.
ReplyDeleteI really try to keep confidences. However, if I feet someone would be badly hurt because of something I knew, I'd spill the beans. This reminds me of when my then 5 year old Granddaughter was going to share one of her many secrets with me. I reminded her that I would keep her secret unless I felt her parents really should know about what she was telling me. Her reply, "Well, then you aren't my secret keeper anymore, Grammy!"
ReplyDeleteI believe I'm an expert keeper of secrets. If I'm asked to keep one...something that is very personal to the one asking me to do so, I will respect that person's wishes, as I would expect them to respect mine.
ReplyDeleteThere are many people I wouldn't share a secret with, simply because I wouldn't trust them to keep it.
Everyone doesn't have to know everything about everyone. :)
I think if a secret must be told it would be because someone's safety is at risk. And I would first tell/discuss it with the teller. It would be done as gently as possible and with hurting as few people as possible.
ReplyDeleteI was just going to type what Birdie said. Which just proves her wisdom :)
ReplyDeleteIf I said I wouldn't tell, then I just wouldn't ever tell. Reading the other answers though - I could see telling if someone was in danger.
ReplyDeleteMy brother grilled me recently, but I told him the other person had to tell them. That was pressure! I did reveal I was keeping a requested secret tho, because it's important that he find out from the horses' mouth.
ReplyDeleteThere are plenty I will take to the grave, no matter what. Health history tho is important to the grandkids I think. People just don't want the Facebook pity thing happening I think!
I would have to take each individual case into account as a separate question, so I can't provide a generalized answer. However, I take secrets very seriously, so there would have to be an extremely compelling case for breaking confidence.
ReplyDeleteIt depends on so much, but it would take a whole heck of a lot to make me tell a real secret. Something life or death...
ReplyDeleteOnce it has been told to you is it still a secret?
ReplyDelete