Slim and Franke

Slim and Franke

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

#15 TEND-AND-BEFRIEND

 This is post is also number 15 in the marathon.

 

 

How our girlfriends can help us get through the toughest times

"When men are under stress, they produce high levels of testosterone which add to the classic "flight-or-fight" stress response. But when women are under stress, we produce high levels of the "love hormone" called oxytocin. This helps to buffer the fight-or-flight response and actually compels us to instead seek out the company of other women to talk about our troubles - what's known as the "tend-and-befriend" response to stress."

Click on the title line to read this article.  It explains a lot about many of us who blog.  Since we moved to this community six years ago I have not found the "girlfriend" of my dreams and believe you me, Ron has tried to help me find someone because he isn't really into being my confidant. The problem in a small community, the clicks are tight and everybody else already has their bff's and besties (grandchildren words). 

10 comments:

  1. When I'm under alot of stress, I'm at work ngenerally try not to talk about it which adds to the stress...
    Interesting info, will read article after a bit!
    Perhaps you are stress posting!

    Yep, some folks are more likely to seek commiseration...

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  2. Dear Annie ~~ The soup sounds
    really tasty and if it helps stress levels to ease is an added bonus.
    Glad that you enjoyed the post and jokes. The Superman
    costume is necessary but little kids can't read, so will try to fly. There probably is a Shirley Goodnest somewhere in this world of ours. Take care my friend, Love, Merle.

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  3. My most constant confidant is a "girlfriend" I never see - but we email back and forth at least two times every day. Friendships are hard in the city, too - people are busy with their kids, careers, whatever. I do have a close group of friends (a mix of men and women) who I get together with for dinner once a month.

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  4. So I shouldn't go into my Archie Bunker routine and whine, "Ah Geez Edith" When something is brought up that I don't understand?

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  5. Snaggle Tooth -- I have many close girlfriends but most of them live far away and are still working outside the home so we can't chat often. My nearest and dearest friend was killed in 1990 in a car accident. She was the one I could tell everything to. Her kids are my precious god-children.

    My sister and my daughter take lots of time to hear my daily dilemmas unfold but their lives are busy also.

    I've always had a need to talk over my problems and will bend the ear of almost any passer-by. Thus my blog. Yep, stress posting. Oh dear...

    I clearly saw the foot-ball pigskin Viking-horn hat. And speaking of the Oscars, I'm posting pictures today of my goddaughter on the red carpet.

    Merle -- My grand nephew truly believes he can fly and his father encourages that belief. Sometimes it worries me that the kid is going to test his wings. My son-in-law tells a story of jumping off the garage roof believing he could fly when he was four. You have the neatest stories in your Sunday posts and it is so great to hear of your continued recovery.

    Lynn -- Even getting together with a group of friends would be fun. We have had so many health problems since moving here that we just haven't gotten out to meet folks. The local church is pretty clicky and the VFW was too. Are they clicky or am I picky? Loved your video clip of Fibber McGee and Molly's closet. Mine were like that before my daughter came here and organized my life.

    Cliff -- I know all about what Archie Bunker would say. I live with Archie Bunker too:) Marilyn and I need to form an association and I'm not talking about an Archie Bunker fan club.

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  6. I've lived in Florida for 30+ years and have never found a close friend. All the friends I've met, come and go. Probably because Florida is a transient state? Anyway my poor DIL Diana seems to catch all of my issues now. What a Godsend she is,though. For our age difference, we always seem to be on the same page.

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  7. Annie I could not agree with you more - blogs are a blessing. sandie

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  8. Bonnie -- I lived so many different places all my life and was blessed with a "best friend" in each place. We have been here a long time but surely someone I have a lot in common with will appear over the horizon someday. At least I remain hopeful.

    Chatty Crone -- With your positive outlook you always find yourself surrounded by blessings:)

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  9. I have always found it amazing how you can go for a very long time without seeing or talking to your best friend and then when you do you pick up like it was just yesterday that you last talked.

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  10. Granny Annie, thanks for reposting my 'girlfriends' article here. My closest friends (many going back to the 1970s when we first moved here to the West Coast) have seen me through thick and thin, including my 2008 heart attack - and last week, my mother's death following a massive stroke.

    In the past week, the kindness of both close friends - and even some high school friends I hadn't seen in over 40 years! - have made a hugely profound impact.

    And these kindnesses also remind ME to be a better friend to those around me.

    Cheers,

    Carolyn Thomas
    www.myheartsisters.org

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