My mother would visit her mother later. Grandmother then had all kinds of problems and aches and pains. As mother shared grandmother's woes with me, I would say, "I was just there and we had a lovely visit and she said she was just fine." It really bugged me that my grandmother would not tell me how she was feeling and let me help her in some way. Why did she save this for my mother?
Yesterday our grandson called from college. He told us all about how much he is enjoying his new friends and his classes. We were happy and excited for him. After hanging up the phone I said to Ron, "Oh, I didn't tell Ryan about your medical report!" and suddenly it dawned on me. Grandparents wear a completely different face for grandchildren than they do for children.
This certainly explains why all of my grandparents are missed so muchl I was blessed to have four in my life until I was well into adulthood and allowed to forever be their protected grandchild never needing to hear "adult" concerns.
We are constantly learning.
OH, and I guess I understand this now too. Everyone tells me that since our AC was fixed, I keep the house too cool. Perhaps that is what Slim is trying to tell me also:)
When the dog heads for the covers it is cold:) What a cute picture.
ReplyDeleteSlim looks cute. :)
ReplyDeleteI used to ask my Great Aunt on the phone, "How are you?" And she would tell me, for the next 20 to 30 minutes. I realized at that point how often so many of us do that, ask that question thinking you are going to get a quick "fine". In other words, using it as a pleasantry without really wanting to hear the complete answer.
I think it's just the little degrees of separation that cause us to do these little adjustments...plus we hate to be burdens...or to be perceived in a different way.
ReplyDeleteThat photo of Slim is priceless, Annie!
That is a magical photo. Your dog is way too smart. Yes, I would not share anything sad or difficult with my grandchildren. Our times are for only the best of stuff.
ReplyDeleteChanges in the wind – Yes Ron especially is going to tell me that now. Why did I post that picture???
ReplyDeleteLynn – Now great-aunts are a different thing. My mother’s sister had every ache and pain known to man and she took a ton of pills and wanted to discuss daily what each one was for. LOL
Talon – Grandparents do not want to burden grandchildren, that’s for sure. Glad you like the picture. Slim got under that throw all by herself. I laughed my head off when I saw her.
Tabor --- Yep, Slim is way too smart! I hope my grandchildren will always remember “the best of stuff”.
That is so cute with him under the blanket or trying too - might be a bit cold - but I love it - if I could afford it!
ReplyDeleteI love the photo.
ReplyDeleteI only had one living Grandparent , my Nana, and I loved her so much. She died of a stroke when I was 11, and I still miss her. I think I missed out in life not having a Grandfather.
I like the warmth in an air conditioned house so I always like a stream of sunlight to pop in on my chair somewhere. Otherwise I sit on my hands to keep them warm.
ReplyDeleteI envy the dog. He is a smart one and is staying warm.
aww slim is soooooooooo cold.. give that sweet baby a quilt.
ReplyDeleteGla to hear your grandson is doing well and making new pals.
Just chatted online with my daughter who is starting her second year at college. She's in an apartment this year. On Sunday she was happily cooking for her roommates. Yesterday she posted a picture of the Little Red Hen on her FB page. I think she learned that everyone is happy to eat her food, but not so happy to help cook and clean!
ReplyDeleteChatty Crone – Sandie, I am dreading our electric bill this month. I’m sure we shall pay the price for my eccentric actions but since our AC was fixed it has worked better than ever and I just couldn’t’ resist.
ReplyDeleteLL Cool Joe – Yes I am sad that you did not have a grandfather. Both of my grandfathers were polar opposites but when they visited us at the same time, they got along like the best of pals. One was a staunch Republican and the other a died in the wool Democrat plus one was a tax attorney and the other a pipeline supervisor but when they all visited at the same time, they were always just grandpas and did the one thing they had in common – fishing:)
Abraham Lincoln – Our dog is always the smart one in our house:)
Sonny – Right now our grandson believes college was made just for him. However he has only had one week of classes. Bless his heart, you and I both know that is going to change a bit. LOL
Susan Adcox – I love it that she posted the Little Red Hen. Our family all knows the meaning of that! I’m always claiming to be the Little Red Hen.
My grandchildren are only four years old and don't ask me much yet, particularly how I am feeling. However, I think when they are older and I am asked such questions, I will be sure to answer, "Fine."
ReplyDeleteSo glad your a/c was fixed! My family hasn't been understand how a late relative was a really bad parent, but a great grandparent - there's just that dynamic.
ReplyDeleteMaria -- I am happy to see your comments on my posts. Are you a "Maria" that I know? I guess, if you weren't before, you are now:) Yes four-year-olds don't care much how anyone is feeling unless it is Sponge Bob.
ReplyDeleteRiot Kitty -- You know how long we suffered with our AC out in this awful heat, so having it back has caused me to abuse the privilege. Also I have often heard of grandparents that were horrible parents and it makes it difficult to believe when you see them with their grandchildren.
Although my grands are tiny, this is good words of wisdom for me to know and think about now.
ReplyDeleteLove that photo. You're right we never say how things really are for our grandchildren. I wasn't lucky enough to have my grandmothers for long. Sadly my children didn't have theirs either. They were such a blessing that I appreciate so much now.
ReplyDeleteForgot to say Air conditioning? We've been trying desperately not to put the central heating on for the past couple of weeks!
ReplyDeleteI don't have kids or grandkids, but I have definitely developed a habit of telling people I'm fine when I'm not. It's important to me to be a cheerful and reassuring person to those around me as much as possible. Sometimes I need to ask for a little sympathy, and that's OK too, but I err on the side of "fine" and a big smile, if I can.
ReplyDeleteI am always alot more positive with my grandkids. Well, they aren't tainted with all that goes wrong in the world yet- n they do cheer me up alot.
ReplyDeleteI could use some of your cooler ac here in the muggy heat this week- it's really stuffy with the storm windows closed for the storm which hasn't blown by yet-
Too cute a photo - smart dog:)
ReplyDeleteI think our grandchildren need positive happy adults in their lives. Their parents are too busy being parents - as they should be - so it's the grandparent's job to reassure them that life is good even when you're old.
ReplyDelete