Slim and Franke

Slim and Franke

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

sent to me in an email:

INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from
Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition,
Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.3, and then installed undesirable programs such as

NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0
and
Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0
no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.


DEAR DESPERATE
,

First, keep in mind,
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command:
ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the
Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta Version.

Whatever you do,
DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the
Boyfriend 5.0 program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary,
Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.

GOOD LUCK!!!

18 comments:

  1. I'm laughing my head off!!!! This is absolutely hilarious. Laugh out loud, fall on the floor, hilarious!! Oh, I'm am so Woo Hoo!ing over this post. Girl, you rock.

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  2. No Fair.. You should have had a disclaimer at the beginning saying I'd need a DEPENDS on before I read this..:)
    This was the best thing I've read all day, maybe all week..
    giggle fit...

    hugs
    Sonny

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  3. VERY funny. I need an upgrade, too.

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  4. That's pretty darn funny. :)

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  5. LOL! Pure brilliance, Annie! Loved it!

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  6. Annie,

    This is the funniest thing I have read in a very long time. Extremely clever....

    I hope you don't mind that I have sent a copy of it to my "Techie" friends who,I am sure, will also be crazy about it.

    Thanks for the great laughs.

    You are the best!

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  7. LOL version 2.0! I hope you and your lovies are nowhere near the tornadoes.

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  8. Always Nesting – Marla, it affected me the same wahy when I read it. I sent it to my husband and for some reason he didn’t think it was as funny as I did.

    Sonny – Oops, sorry about that. LOL It took me surprise too.
    Thanks for stopping by.

    Kenju – I knew you would love this!

    Lynn – Thanks!

    Talon – Don’t you wonder who comes up with these things? I wish they would take credit.

    Nancy – Of course you are welcome to share this. I got it in an email and figured I was probably the last to see it. I’m glad others are enjoying it as well.

    Riot Kitty – Wasn’t it fun? Yes we are safe from tornadoes so far but it’s just our weather time of year. We go to bed and hope we’ll still have a roof over us in the morning.

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  9. OMG I am laughing my butt off. I'm reading it here at work and thinking who else would appreciate it, lol. Thanks SO MUCH for sharing this and staring my day off with a laugh. Thanks. Have a great day, sweet lady!

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  10. Sorry but I don't see the humor in that. Anyway I have sent the link to Char.
    Ralph

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  11. Bonnie -- Wasn't it great.

    Changes -- Yes, a hoot for sure.

    Ralph -- That's strange, Ron didn't think it was funny either:)

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  12. Grannie Annie you are a riot...
    LMAO....and did you write this for me this week...I think so....!!!I think I will go for the portable .."laptop" version....I can turn it off....shut it down and close it up whenever I want...I can stick it in the drawer and only pull it out when I want it...what do you think...?..Thanks for the great laugh !!!

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  13. This is a terrific update to an old and worn theme!

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  14. THAT SOFTWARE, ALWAYS GIVING YOU PROBLEMS!! :)

    HOPE YOUR WEEK IS GOING WELL, GRANNY!

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  15. Love it!!! I copied and sent it to a lot of my contacts. Thanks for sharing

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  16. Wow, what a laugh! Thanks.

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  17. I think Marilyn like it GA. She had me print it and so she could take it to the office.
    I read your dream story. Maybe you should lay off of the spicey foods late at night.

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