Slim and Franke

Slim and Franke

Thursday, June 25, 2009

APOLOGY REJECTED

Have you ever counted the number of times in a day that you say "I'm sorry"? Have you ever attempted to stop saying those words and found it impossible. If you rarely say you're sorry, you won't understand this post, but if you say it a lot for virtually no reason you will know from whence I come:)

I call my sister on the telephone. It rings once, twice -- no big deal -- three, four -- oops, I'm calling at a bad time. I'm taking her away from guests. I'm bothering her while she's napping. And, just as I start to hang up she answers.
"Hello" she says.
"I'm sorry!" I exclaim.
"Why are you apologizing?" she asks.
"I didn't want to disturb you."
And she replies, "I was just looking for the phone."

My sister calls me on the telephone.
"Hello" I say.
"I'm sorry to bother you" she says.
We go back and forth that way.

My spouse comments on something that went wrong in his day.
"I'm sorry" I say.
"Why are you sorry?" he will ask, "It wasn't your fault."

Someone loses something -- I'm sorry.
Someone breaks something -- I'm sorry.
Someone doesn't like the outfit they are wearing -- I'm sorry.

A while back my sister, my daughter and I took a challenge to go as long as we could without saying the words, "I'm sorry". We were all three out of the contest within the first hour.

Can you relate or is this just my family thing?

28 comments:

  1. Yes I can relate because I have a family member who does that. Irritating.

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  2. Thanks Cliff. That is exactly what Ron says. He never has to say he's sorry because he is NEVER wrong and I would imagine you are the same:)

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  3. After being married for 8 years to the "I'm sorry" guy, I'm only now getting used to hearing it. It started out as irritating to me, having never heard the phrase before. My prior husband had never done anything wrong, so why apologize. But Joe apologized for the WEATHER! Now I understand that he is sorry, if it causes me to be upset. He's apologizing to my discomfort. The problem is when it's used like "have a nice day".

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  4. It sounds as if you are feeling VERY guilty inside about stuff that is hidden DEEP within your unconscious mind. I suggest massive amounts of psychotherapy and electric shock.

    :-)

    I'm sorry for my harsh analysis.

    :-)

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  5. I'll go with Jamie Dawn's assessment!! LOL


    I have done that sometimes. I used to have a friend who annoyed me NO END with calling on the phone and when I picked up, she'd say:

    "It's only me."

    It made her sound like such a sad sack!

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  6. I rarely say I am sorry because I am rarely wrong...;-)

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  7. I'm an "I'm sorry" junkie. Working on it. I promise. Really. I'm....

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  8. Yep. I do it too. Sad thing is I think I passed it to my daughter. She's worse than me!

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  9. I am sorry but I say I am sorry too much too.

    sorry.

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  10. If someone tells me they don't feel well I say, "I'm sorry." I was chastised for this the same way you were. "Why are you saying your sorry, you didn't make me sick?" I decided I was substituting, "I'm sorry" for "too bad you are feeling down."

    It's an old habit and I will try to break it. I'm sorry I burdened you with this piece of drivel. I'm sorry I wrote it. I'm sorry. :-(

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  11. i'm sorry, i don't say it enough...

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  12. Dana -- That's way too sweet. Joe apologizing for any inconvenience that befalls you. Oh too, too sweet.

    Jamie Dawn -- Your analysis does not surprise me. Next we will learn that you are opening a clinic and I'll be getting a flyer in the mail. Just keep the lobotomy wires away from me.

    Kenju -- you can be Jamie Dawn's co-counsel. Yes, I too apologize really for calling anyone because what could I possibly have that is important to say. I wouldn't apologize if their house was on fire. That should be a good thing. After the fire I would say I was sorry for not calling soon enough.

    Tabor -- I guessed that about you.

    PG -- I guessed that about you.

    OGO -- I passed to on to my daughter and she resents me for it.

    Hi 40 -- I'm so sorry that you are also a person who says "I'm sorry" because that is a sorry way to be.

    Darlene -- I fear your response left you curled in a corner weaping. If so, I'm sorry.

    Jessi -- It is not as if I didn't try to inflict you with guilt. Somehow you managed to escape some of my reprograming. Your mother wasn't a big apologizer or guilt giver either. One of the many things I envied her for.

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  13. I'm sorry but I'm sorry alot too. So it's not a family thing for you. Sometimes I'm not just a regluar sorry I'm a smart aleck sorry (just to irritate people). But I agree with Dana, it is getting overwhelming like "have a nice day".

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  14. All to common in my family and friends, it seems the word "Sorry"
    is used as habit and when a real apology is needed it is rarely used.
    My son has a habit of saying sorry if he didn't hear what you said to him, I have often wondered when this started .....is this a change of the times?

    Yvonne,

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  15. I can relate but Mr. RK and I also say "I'm sorry, honey" or some such mushy stuff when one of us has a less-than-stellar day, not because we think it's our fault, but out of empathy. As in, sorry that happened to you.

    On a personal note, I used to apologize constantly and cut way back since starting my current job and working with people that I sometimes need to direct.

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  16. I am sometimes guilty. I wonder if it is something we say when we are at a loss for words?

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  17. Ha! Well, I say it when there is a genuine warrant for it, but Eileen (My best friend) says it all the time. She calls, and the first thing she often says is "I'm sorry if I'm bothering you, but..." I find it somewhat annoying when she does that and I have told her that. So she doesn't do it as often as she used to. But she is definately an "I'm sorry" person.

    I'm sorry Granny Annie (hehe) but I just don't picture you as the "I'm sorry" type at all!

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  18. I think I only say it when it's appropriate, unless maybe I feel like someone is whining and wants sympathy!

    As for wearing shorts...I do sometimes, but mostly here at home. Never short shorts. I would never wear shorts to church. I was brought up to believe that the house of God should be visited with decent clothes on to show respect! Nowadays some wear about anything it seems and you wonder if something might fall out sometimes! I was behind a woman at the grocery recently and she was pretty hefty. She had on shorts and every step she took you could see her butt cheeks, plus the cottage cheese thighs. Yikes!! She should have been arrested by the fashion police!

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  19. Bonnie -- You are so right about it becoming overwhelming. I think I'll try to replace "I'm sorry" with "have a nice day". It may confuse people, but it might help me break the habit.

    Yvonne -- We do seem to use it when it is not important to say and fail to use it when it is. My grandchildren say it a lot when I know they don't mean it.
    They throw in some "I Love You's" when they are really trying to put something over.

    RK -- Sounds like you and Mr. RK have it in perspective. Out of curiosity, how did you break the habit in your work?

    Mountain Mama -- I know I do use it because I'm at a loss for words. I guess I need to come up with some better choices.

    Renie -- Thanks for not picturing me as he "I'm sorry" type but I can guarantee you I'm just like Eileen. I'm sure that's okay because you like her anyway and can like me despite my faults. LOL

    Rachel -- I sometimes manage NOT to say "I'm sorry" when I belive someone is fishing for it. That's pretty strange.

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  20. I know people who do that but I am not one of them. There are other phrases that annoy me a lot more than one.
    Read your previous post and have to agree with you - people sure dress different now, including me. I use to wear a tie to church almost all the time - now I rarely do. Some people at our church do wear shorts and sandals - not sure I would feel comfortable doing that.
    Ralph

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  21. I like wearing a dress to church, especially on Sunday....There are times when I will wear pants to an activity or youth gathering...

    I don't think I use "I'm Sorry" that often...I will appologize when I am wrong but it doesn't come out for everything.....

    How's Mr. G doing?

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  22. Ralph -- right now I have another phrase that bothers me more. It is "Hot enough for you?" Also when we transferred our church membership in Kansas Ron insisted on wearing his suit. It was a very small congregation and I don't think they ever saw a suit even at a funeral

    Lucy -- Mr. Gibson is doing great. Thanks for asking. He gets in and out of the nest box with Mama, Rebecca and Chicklet. It is strange that Elenore Hen has taken them back to the next rather than taking them to the roost. But I do have odd chickens!

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  23. I don't say I'm sorry that often, no. Maybe more on-line. I think I'm not so certain with the written word, or if I've understood it properly so I may say sorry.

    In real life, not that often. I must think I'm always right which is not true!

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  24. Omg! I can relate with this so much.
    A friend of mine used to say why you always say "I'm sorry". It is not your fault. I don't know just can't go on without that phrase.

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  25. I am prone to saying it too but when asked why I am apologizing I finally fgured out that it means from me that I'm sorry to hear that the bad thing happened or that someone is unhappy. I am just too much of an empath I guess.

    Thanks for the visit!

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  26. I came over from Pheromone Girl's blog. I'm a sorry-sayer too.

    I say it about the weather or someone's bad day, too, and I am always confused when they ask, why are you saying sorry? It wasn't your fault. I know that, but I'm sorry you are distressed.

    I've been known to say "it's only me" too.

    I think it is mostly women who say these things and men who don't understand why we do.

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  27. I love this post because I get to rant. I never say I'm sorry in every day conversation. I refuse. I may say 'pardon me' if I do something rude. My rant is about how I absolutely hate it when people say they are sorry all the time. It drives me insane! The whole time I'm thinking to myself: "self, why do they have such low self esteem that they feel like they have to apologize for everything?" I think if women stopped apologizing our status in the world would start to improve. Men don't say they're sorry all the time.

    I almost forgot. I came by from Pheromone Girl's blog to say congrats on the Pop Tart Award.

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  28. They joke about Canadians being overly polite and saying "I'm sorry" a lot even when whatever it is we're apologizing about is truly not our fault. I do tend to say "I'm sorry" a lot, but only when I'm the one who's done something wrong. Now I'll be keeping even closer track :)

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