I find it difficult to worship or meditate these days. It is very emotional for me. It is almost painful.
My parents are both gone. They were so good.
Was it a blessing or a curse to be a child of such good people? Could it be that goodness is a form of abuse? I will never measure up.
It wears me out sometimes to think of all they did for people. Where did they get the energy to constantly help others or to simply look for ways to help others? Their radar detectors were always set to alert them of someone's need. We called them The Mission Impossible Team.
My mother's greatest pain in her final years came from her physical limitations. Her inability to walk made her a recipient of help. She continually told us that she did not like being a "burden". I believe she was so addicted to helping others that she was suffering from "giving withdrawal".
How did it get started on this thought train today? This quote by Arthur Ashe, "From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life."
How blessed I am to have shared their lives and their goodness!
you most certainly are blessed to have had such wonderful parents. i look at my two daughters, now entering womanhood, and i sigh with envy. i shake my head sometimes in fascination, what does it feel like to be so loved from beginning to end by the people that brought you here.
ReplyDeletei don't think goodness is ever bad. by the nature of your reflection this morning, i'd say you measure up to your parents quite nicely. honoring their memory and giving thanks with this post. i'm sure they are quite proud.
Granny Annie, your parents set a good example for you. I hope giving is easy for you too....Part of giving is receiving, sometimes it's hard to do.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year.
Both of my parents are gone too...I still miss them. They too were great people and I am so blessed to have had them as MY parents. I often think that my parents would be very pleased and surprised at where I am in my life, from the major things to the minor things and in fact I was just telling my hubby last night at dinner my Mom would be shocked at how I now talk to strangers because I was always so embarrassed when she did! There are many ways of giving and your blog is a special gift to us all:)
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful legacy they left behind for you. Not everyone can say that about their loved ones. I don't think you should try to measure up to them. My guess is that you are quite fantastic to your own children.
ReplyDeleteIt was blessing. -e
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