HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY - 05-31-2022

 Happy Funny Tuesday

I intend to live forever--so far so good.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. 

 

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QUESTION OF THE WEEK 0 05-30-2022

 What do you say to someone who lost someone?

 

SUNDAY WESTERN ACEO #5

 

Sunday Western art card #5

Searchers

2 1/2" x 3 1/2" Art Card 

Searchers by eaghl 2022

BLUE GRASS...MISCELANEOUS FRIDAY 05-27-2022

 

The donkey told the tiger, "The grass is blue."

The tiger replied, "No, the grass is green ."

The discussion became heated, and the two decided to submit the issue to arbitration, so they approached the lion.

As they approached the lion on his throne, the donkey started screaming, ′′Your Highness, isn't it true that the grass is blue?"

The lion replied, "If you believe it is true, the grass is blue."

The donkey rushed forward and continued, "The tiger disagrees with me, contradicts me and annoys me. Please punish him."

The king then declared, ′′The tiger will be punished with 3 days of silence."

The donkey jumped with joy and went on his way, content and repeating, ′′The grass is blue, the grass is blue..."

The tiger asked the lion, "Your Majesty, why have you punished me, after all, the grass is green?"

The lion replied, ′′You've known and seen the grass is green."

The tiger asked, ′′So why do you punish me?"

The lion replied, "That has nothing to do with the question of whether the grass is blue or green. The punishment is because 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚❟ 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙜𝙪𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙨𝙨 and on top of that, you came and bothered me with that question just to validate something you already knew was true!"

The biggest waste of time is arguing with the fool and fanatic who doesn't care about truth or reality, but only the victory of his beliefs and illusions. Never waste time on discussions that make no sense. There are people who, for all the evidence presented to them, do not have the ability to understand. Others who are blinded by ego, hatred and resentment, and the only thing that they want is to be right even if they aren’t.

When IGNORANCE SCREAMS, intelligence moves on.

~Author Unknown

 

 

HOW DOES THIS GRAB YOU?

 How does this grab you? Otis Redding, 1965.

 

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY - 05-25-2022

 

This week's prompts provided by Wisewebwoman are:

Battery

Remain

Age

Bite

Produce

Workshop

Forest

Critic

 

NOT SO NEIGHBORLY by Granny Annie

Louise was always the critic.  She was a nosy neighbor especially when it came to my creations.  We had a big age difference and Louise, the busybody, believed it was her job to correct me on everything. She would hang over the back fence and give a review of my entire life.

It was my day in the workshop. First I had to take a trip to the forest in order to find just what I needed to produce my invention. Every bug that could took a bite out of me that day. Still I was able to remain in the woods until I found what I needed.

I laughingly carried the bundle of limbs, sticks, leaves and moss back to the shop.  Louise viewed me with a questioning eye and made many derogatory comments. I simply smiled and went inside to get to work hammering, sawing, and spraying.Once my creation was almost complete, I inserted a battery and carried the large art piece outside. 

It was a perfect image of Big Foot but wore a sign that said "Louise" and had a little electronic voice box that repeated over and over, "I am a nosy neighbor.  I am a nosy neighbor."  Suddenly Louise disappeared behind the hedge.

HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY -05-24-2022

 

"Money can't buy everything... but then again neither can no money."

"We were sooooooo poor... we would eat beans for breakfast, water for lunch, then we'd swell up for dinner."

"My parents were soooooo poor, they got married for the rice."

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QUESTION OF THE WEEK - 05-23-2022

 What made you smile this week?

 

 

WESTERN ACEO #4

Sunday Western art card #4

Buck'A Roo

2 1/2" x 3 1/2" Art Card 

 

Art Card Buck'A Roo by eaghl 2022

 

HELP

 HELP!!  I am unable to comment on blogs.  What can I do to fix this?  Anyone else having the problem? I managed two comments posting today and then it stopped accepting.

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY - 05-18-2022

This month Wisewebwoman will again provide the prompts for May on her blog.   She gave special thanks to Elephant's Child for hosting on her behalf the first two weeks' of May prompts. 

withdrawal

pollution

embrace

prosecution

year

represent

cottage

overwhelm

MINE PIT

MINER'S STORY by Granny Annie

My first day in the mines at age 14,I was overwhelmed with enthusiasm. Mom stood with me outside our cottage that year. She knew the withdrawal I would feel leaving my comfortable life for the mines. She was sad as she handed me my lunch pail and watched me skip away with glee. She knew I would never return again with the same joy.

It was exciting to embrace my first paying job. It filled me with pride to represent my family of miners. Grandfather, father, uncles, brothers all worked in the mines. I had heard their stories and was sure I knew what to expect.

The mine owners should have faced prosecution for the danger they put us in. Pollution , rock slides, equipment failures and other dangers overcame everyone. Fourteen year old lads were handed the most distasteful duties. They would only advance to easier positions and higher pay at age sixteen, though there were never really any easy positions.

I knew that first day that the end of the world had come.

 

 

HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY - 05-17-2022

 

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.

I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.

 Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

 

 

 

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QUESTION OF THE WEEK - 05-16-2022

 Is stealing to feed a starving child wrong?  

 

WESTERN ACEOs #3

 

 Third Sunday Western art card.

Quenching Thirst

2 1/2" x 3 1/2" Art Card

Quenching thirst by eaghl/2022

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY - 05-11-2022

 

This month Wisewebwoman was going to provide the prompts on her blog - but she is on a blog break and has sent the prompts to Elephant's Child .  Essentially the prompts will be here for May.

This week's prompts were again provided by her and are:

white

painter

courtesy

recommendation

neighbour

disagree

traffic

ambition

conference

healthy

 And/or

 

TRUST AND OBEY by Granny Annie

The girls begged to rent the lighthouse for their senior graduation part. The Board of Directors took the request under advisement.

The landmark lighthouse had recently been used for a conference and lots of work had been done to make it presentable. The painter did an amazing job. The Board did not have an idea how many shades of white could be shown for selection. Several members could only disagree until they finally gave in as a courtesy to the others. That was the best thing to do. The lighthouse was painted and cleaned up and was beautiful. The conference had been carried off without a hitch and the Board enjoyed the rent that was paid. This would help keep the lighthouse in repair for other events.

Now the board of directors needed to decide if the girls should be allowed to rent the facility. Arguments ensued once more as one recommendation after another was made as to the pros and cons.

How much parking would be required for the traffic. A neighbor of one of the girls stated that the child did not seem to have much ambition and wondered if she could be trusted with the responsibility.Many knew her parents and believed they were trustworthy individuals. Much discussion was finally followed by the decision to rent to the girls and give them an outline of the rules and regulations.

Should anyone have been shocked the morning after the girl's graduation party? Graffiti was painted all over the outside "SENIORS 2022". The inside was in shambles and the kitchen facility was smoke covered. Soda cans as well as beer cans were strewn everywhere. The “trustworthy” parents who had signed the contract for the rental, wrote out a healthy check to the lighthouse fund.

HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY - 05-10-2022

 

Favorite Memory from 15 years ago.

GOLDEN DAY

My daughter called and left a voice message last night. It seems she was in the car with Hope (age 5) and they had an interesting conversation. The radio was on and the announcer was talking about Mother's Day.

Hope (in excited voice): "Oh he's talking about Golden Day!"

Chelle: "Golden Day? What is Golden Day?"

Hope: "That is the day you give your mother something gold. You're supposed to give Granny Annie something gold."

Chelle: "Where did you learn that?"

Hope: "From Granny Annie!"

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QUESTION OF THE WEEK - 05-09-2022

 What are you most excited about in your life right now?

 

WESTERN ACEOs #2

Second Sunday Western art card. 

Ride-em Cowboy.

2 1/2"  x  3 1/2" Art Card

2 1/2 x 3 1/2 drawn on cardboard cutout.

I am hooked on westerns so I am trying my hand at sketching and coloring a few western art cards.  

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY - 05-04-2022

 

This week's prompts are provided by WiseWebWoman and Elephant's Child is posting them on her blog.      

• Jewel
• Jigsaw
• Jerboa
• Jasmine
• Jerrican
• Jump
• Jumbo
• Jellyfish   
•  
•  
• LETTER 10 by Granny Annie
  
•  
• My sweet Jerboa Jerad had jumbo ears.  He was the jewel of all my pets until one fateful day.  My jigsaw puzzle was successfully completed but frisky Jerad decided to jump in the middle and scatter the pieces everywhere. Thankfully my new jerrican was empty and I was able to scoop all the puzzle pieces into it. I could insure they would stay dry, then shake them out and use them again.   I glanced at my aquarium to see my jellyfish Jasmine who appeared to be laughing at this scene.
• 
  

• 

  Jerboa

  
  

  

  Jerrican

  
  

  

  Jasmine Jellyfish laughing
  

  
  
  

HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY - 05-03-2022

 

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says,'I'm sorry, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

 Two fish swim into a concrete wall.One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'

Join Happy Tuesday and link your funnies to Sandee at Comedy Plus.