HAPPY TUESDAY FUNNIES - 08-31-2021

 

QUESTION OF THE WEEK - 08-30-2021

 

What song do you play most often?

 

 

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY - 08-27-2021 (and Feline Friday too)

 

This month the prompts will be here, but are being provided by David M Gascoigne.

This week's prompts are:

1. Formidable
2. Reticent
3. Naturalist
4. Hoity-toity
5. Ego
6. Combination
   

And/or

1. Exude
2. Strident
3. Copious
4. Salient
5. Temerity
6. Euphemism

Have fun.  Next month the prompts will be provided by Cindi. 

FELINE FURY by Granny Annie

Felines Luke and Olive were reticent to reveal their combination of feelings about National Dog's Day. Slim and Frankie had big egos about this day, acting all hoity-toity and rubbing in the fact that it was not National Cat's Day. Their Human Mom, a naturalist always celebrated her animals on their special days and it seemed to her that the dogs were more strident in their gloating than the cats were on National Cat's Day in October.

The cats exuded an awful smell as they pranced in a circle around Slim and Frankie. They laughed as the dogs squirmed at the gaseous out-letting   euphemisms. Slim and Frankie broke through the cats circle with temerity and burst forth releasing copious gasses of their own. They had not found the cat's actions formidable .

Mom walked out of the house carrying a beautiful cake made of dog food and filled with bacon. She pinched her nose as she smelled all the salient odors filling her backyard. Oh those crazy, jealous Luke and Olive, she thought as she shooed them away so Slim and Frankie could celebrate their August 27^th Dog's Day.

HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY - 08-24-2021

 

Top Nine Olympic Comments From NBC

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators Olympics

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her
snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing"

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from
personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and
father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in
boxing, but none of them really that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can
expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot, and the opposition doesn't like
it. In fact, you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC
president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got
eleven Dicks on the field."

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that,
before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh
my God, what have I just said?"

 

 

QUESTION OF THE WEEK - 08-23-2021

 

What was the last funny movie you saw?

OUTDOOR FRIENDS

 OUTDOOR FRIENDS

FELINE FRIDAY - 08-20-2021

 

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY (ON THURSDAY..OOPS) - 08-19-2021

 

This month the prompts will be here, but are being provided by David M Gascoigne.

This week's prompts are

1. Blurry
2. Fig
3. Leading
4. Oversexed
5. Intolerable
6. Glacial

 

And/or

 

1. Romantic
2. Dogmatic
3. Nebulous
4. Gum
5. Fodder
6. Deprecate

  

ROOSTER RETIREMENT by Granny Annie

Boss Hog was most intolerable. He was a beautiful rooster but definitely oversexed. Their lovely flock of hens were terrified when this big fellow came near them with romantic intentions. Thankfully the rooster's vision was blurry enough to slow his approach to the ladies. Plus he chased and terrified the Brown's grandchildren. The farmer could not help but deprecate about this brazen fowl in his barnyard. However Farmer Brown managed to remain glacial to keep his wife happy. But, she loved this rooster and was very dogmatic in her opinion of the fellow she had raised as a chick. Her husband's opinion did not mean a fig to her. She strolled the yard leading Boss Hog everywhere.

Farmer Brown approached his wife one day with an idea. “My dear, have you ever heard of the Rooster Barn in Ottawa? It is a fun retirement home for old roosters. The total plan is a bit nebulous now but we can think on it.” Farmer Brown looked hopefully at his wife believing she might consider the idea and he chomped hard on his gum. He watched as Boss Hog pecked at the fodder on the ground.

Mrs. Brown patted her big rooster on his comb and smiled with pity at her husband, responding “It ain't never gonna happen.”

 

Boss Hog caged for travel.

 

HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY - 08-17-2021

 

My grandson Michael is visiting me today and gave me some funnies to share. 

These are a few left in my file.  I'm running out of funny.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK - 08-16-2021

 

What do you hope never changes?

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY (ON FRIDAY) - 08-13-2021

 Oops, I am late again.

This month, the prompts are being provided by David M. Gasciogne and posted by Elephant's Child.     

    

This week's prompts are:

 

Aghast

Snivel

Beautiful

Magnanimous

Frogmarch

Spoonfeed

 

and/or

 

Shoulder

Knot

Frenzy

Wicket

Wriggle 

Visible

 

A MOTHER'S CONFUSION by Granny Annie

Susan's mother was aghast at the site visible to her.   Brandon held Phillip tightly as he tried to frogmarch him down the stairs.  Phillip was bound and gagged tightly.  Despite his efforts he could not wriggle free.  Susan went into a frenzy as she  demanded Brandon explain what he had such a hold on her beautiful son Phillip.  

 

"I found Phillip and was loading all your precious silver into a bag.  I caught him and he tried to escape my grasp so I had to tie him up."  

 

Phillip's shoulder was twisted in pain and he mumbled through the mask.  Susan wanted to untie every knot and free her son.  She could only snivel at the sticky wicket that they had to deal with.  Phillip squirmed and squirmed desperately trying to tell something to his mother. Finally he was able to explain what had happened.  Susan would never feel magnanimous toward Brandon.  She hoped the authorities would be able to catch him. 

 

 It was obvious Brandon had been able to spoonfeed Susan a lie. Brandon left them to settle their problem by themselves while he ran off with the bag of silver family heirlooms.

HAPPY FUNNY TUESDAY

 

 

 

ONCE AGAIN THE TORTOISE WINS

SIGNS

 

CHOSEN PROFESSIONS

 

I OFTEN FEEL THIS HAPPENING
 

QUESTION OF THE WEEK - 08-09-2021

 

If you HAD to watch the same movie once a week for the rest of your life what movie would you pick?

WORDS FOR WEDNESDAY - 08-04-2021

 

This month, the prompts are being provided by David M. Gasciogne and posted by Elephant's Child.   

 

Plumage

Sleek

Peripatetic

Agony

Permissive

Pray

 

and/or

 

Duty

Colorful

Absent

Mastery

Prey

Orchid

 

PRETTY AS A PEACOCK by Granny Annie

 

The crowd watched in agony as Madeline strutted into the room.  Some began to pray that this grand-stander would end her peripatetic movements through the crowd.  The dress she wore was sleek and fitted to her titillating form.  Her hair was so tall and stiff it looked like plumage on a peacock. Everyone knew she was the victim of a permissive upbringing. 

Madeline's parents were high-society and it was the duty of the host to invite her to the gathering. Still, many wished she was absent. She had a mastery of flirtation and every eligible bachelor was her prey. She was charmed by various colorful bouquets. 

It was sad when a kerfuffle erupted because an orchid bouquet had been presented by a man who was NOT a bachelor and his wife attacked her husband and Madeline.  This event came to an abrupt end.

 

 

(Great prompts David! I knew it would be full of bird words so I tried a surprise story.)