Antique Granny

Antique Granny

Thursday, August 30, 2007

MOHAWK CHERUB

Our Grand Niece and isn't she GRAND!
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SCHOOL DAYS, SCHOOL DAZE IN MISSOURI

Hearty breakfast of Fruit Loops.
Beauty parlor and breakfast combined.
Is that Bratz doll dressed appropriately for school?
Waiting for the bus.
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KIT SEALS THE DEAL


Thanks Kit for helping with Grandpa Ron's newest acquisition.
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PRINCESS ON THE MEND



Here is Jasmine, on the mend from her eye surgery. All reports are good so far. Biopsy report is still due but all signs point to a clean report. Her best friend Taylor is assisting in Jasmine's care. We are happy this ordeal is over before their school starts next week. We know her mother is assisting in Jasmine's care too, but what about those brothers?
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Tuesday, August 28, 2007

AND THE WINNER IS……

Yesterday I say my cardiologist and Ron saw our PCP (primary care physician). My cardiologist was literally crushed to learn that I had gained 24 pounds after having lost 48. He took it very personally and I thought his disappointment was going to make him cry.

Ron’s doctor appointment went a little better but the PCP still focused on weight and urged him to exercise and eat healthy.

This was the first time I realized our medical victories are claimed by the doctors. If we succeed through hard work and following instructions, the doctor gets to claim the prize.

With my competitive nature, I have found a way to win this round. I guess you could say that I was the winner yesterday……………. for most weight gained. WhooHoo! :-)


Monday, August 27, 2007

THEY MUST BE TWINS

WAL-MART GREETER

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter says "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

"I'm neither blind nor stupid", replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe someone had sex with you twice. Have a good day."

Saturday, August 25, 2007

SEE OUR GRANDSON RYAN!


Yes, Ryan is among the 400 plus band members on the field!
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THE BEWILDERED DANCE

The Bewildered Dance
Created by Granny Annie
Inspired by this Silver Fox Whispers post

(A 21st century dance being performed daily in many homes)

Hear a ring
Head for the landline phone

Stop, jerk, turn around.

Head for your cell phone

Stop, jerk, turn around.

Still ringing
Head for your spouse's cell phone

Stop, jerk, turn around.

It is an unusual ring
Look at the grandchildren with computer games
Head for the grandchildren

Stop, jerk, turn around.


Start the walk away...
See the UPS guy who was ringing the doorbell walking away

Stop, jerk, turn around.

Run out the door with hands in the air yelling "Wait, wait, wait............"


Now you've done the Bewildered Dance:-)

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

INSTANT BANANA OATMEAL

Does anyone eat instant banana oatmeal? We buy the boxes of instant fruit oatmeal. The box contains peach, strawberry, blueberry and banana packets. We don't like the banana but you can't just buy the others. We would buy all peach or all strawberry if we could. Wait, do I hear you say that Quaker sells boxes of single flavors? Oh yes, I know that. But, Great Value does not. We buy the cheaper brands and that leaves us with packets and packets of left over banana oatmeal. We can't even convince the grandchildren to eat it.

Shouldn't I be able to calculate the cost of the banana oatmeal packets that go to waste and compare that to our savings on not buying the name brand oatmeal and thus justify buying Quaker oatmeal? One day I'm going to open the cabinet door and be killed in an avalanche of -- you guessed it -- instant banana oatmeal flakes.

STRANGE GOIN'S ON

I am fascinated by the habits of Guinea Fowl. Things are happening with Milton and Pat, our only two guineas. Pat is not returning to the roost at night. Milton does go inside, but he reunites with Pat the first thing every morning. By all research it appears they might be starting a family. Pat has a nest somewhere. I read on the attached site that guinea fowl lay 12 to 20 eggs. I'm not sure if that's at one time or over a lifetime. I will have to check further.

None of the guinea fowl that Curly hatched survived. We purchased eight guineas on May 6Th and Milton and Pat are the only survivors of that batch. We are even assuming they are male and female. Guinea Fowl are monogamous and these two are always together except now, at night, when he goes in and she stays out. We may have sisters instead of husband and wife. I shall have to keep you posted on this.

Meanwhile, Tiger Lily is at it again. This silky hen is setting on a nest of about 15 eggs right now. We'll be finding out if Darrell and Darrell have been doing their jobs fertilizing eggs properly around the 5Th of September.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

PINNOCIO AS AN ADULT


Here is Pinnocio as an adult with "a real live girl". Forgive me Mike, I couldn't resist.
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BACK TO WORK -- NOT ME!

Today Chelle starts her new job. She will be in the public school system as a Para-Educator. Para-Educators work in special education, juvenile court schools and vocational education programs with a variety of at-risk and high-risk students. Students served are in need of academic assistance. These students have learning handicaps, communication handicaps and behavioral or emotional handicaps. What a challenging job this will be.

For the grandchildren going back to school and for Chelle starting a new job, I say "1-2-3!"

LEFTIES READ THIS

THIS is for Hope and Joey and any other lefties in the family I don't know about. A must read!

Left handed persons, not political lefties:-)

PEOPLE LET ME TELL YOU BOUT MY BEST FRIEND

My husband and I went to Branson to one of his Navy ship reunions.

We all have tales to tell. I’ll give a quick review.

We did have a good time and enjoyed visiting with new friends and old shipmates. I truly mean “old”. Some of these fellows served during WWII.

Branson is an unusual resort community. There are entertainers at every turn. Artists seeking fame and fortune are willing to perform in every hotel, restaurant or as opening acts, just to gain some recognition and maybe some good tips. Some of them stink and others are excellent. You can hear these entertainers basically for free and not have to pay high prices to get into the Branson shows.

M.H. (My Husband) was on several ships during his 30 years of service. This was his only aircraft carrier. We had not attended this particular ship’s reunion before – the USS Bon Homme Richard, a/k/a The Bonny Dick.

The entertainer at our banquet was a torch singer. He was a very talented entertainer but he was a bit loud. It was funny to watch all these deaf people (ourselves included) trying to communicate at their tables above the sound of the piano. You might say we were rude to have been talking over the entertainment but if you say that you obviously have never been in a room full of sailors with tall tales of war and the sea. Those stories must emit from their vocal cords immediately upon arrival to their brains regardless of surroundings or circumstances.

Our banquet table group consisted of Korea and Vietnam veterans and two eighth grade girls. They were there with one girl’s grandfather and the other girl was her best friend. Remember that age when you could not be parted from your best friend? I told them about how precious their friendship was at this age and to treasure each other and always stay in touch. I told them about my granddaughter Jasmine’s best friend Taylor and how those two girls stand by each other through thick and thin. I told them about finding my best friend from eighth grade after over 40 years and these girls were ..............bored as hell but listened politely to this old lady.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

ELVIS WHO?

Yes, yes, I was a child caught in they Elvis hype. I remember asking to skip church the Sunday night Elvis appeared on the Ed Sullivan show. Whew, my father the minister, did not go for that idea at all. Regardless I made it home in time to see the show and there is a picture of me screaming my head off. How did we ever hear him sing over the screaming? I don't think we did.

We were not allowed to go to any of the Elvis movies. My sister did manage to sneak away to see Love Me Tender. I will never forget her reenactment of the entire movie, playing each role well and Elvis' role to perfection. Later I finally saw the movie but it never was as good as the night my sister performed . Hey Elenore, could you do that again?

STUCK IN THE MIDDLE


Poor Christiane, caught in the "Joneswich". That's a sandwich with the Jones kids on the outside and poor Christiane in the middle.
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TWO TOUGH GUYS


Grandfather and granddaughter are pretty tough. However, with all Jasmine is going through, I'm about to decide she is truly the courageous one! What a trooper......and everyone is cheering her on! WE LOVE YOU JAZZY!
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ICED COFFEE

Make a strong, 12 cup pot of your favorite blend of coffee. While it is still warm, add one 14 oz. can of "fat free" condensed, sweetened milk. Cool and refrigerate. Serve over ice. It keeps nicely for 3 to 4 days and it is delicious!

We use Great Value brand condensed milk because it is almost a dollar less than the leading brand.

SCHOOL DAYS, GOLDEN RULE DAYS

Today Hope starts school. Now all of our grandchildren (The Great Eight) are in school. Hope, starts Kindergarten and September our oldest grandchild, Joey, starts his senior year of high school. Talk about feeling old!

Monday, August 13, 2007

THE WILD BUNCH


A grand time was had by all. We laughed and laughed and played and talked. Everyone loved Christiane. She truly is "family". Today is Monday and I want to email my mother and tell her all about our weekend.
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Thursday, August 09, 2007

JUDY, JUDY, JUDY

I believe Kenju needs to change her blog title to Blogger Friends Central. She is always sending us around to read good posts. She sent a lot of nice folks my direction this week and I can't wait to read their blogs. Thanks Judy....that's what friends are for!

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

THE YOUNGEST GODFATHER

One blogger told a story about some problems with neighborhood kids. Her story jarred my memory. This is another juvenile delinquent story.

We moved into a government subsidized housing project soon after my divorce in 1975 and our eyes were opened to a whole new world. The neighborhood bully was all of 5 years old. His name was Ray.

Ray was a dirty, tiny little guy with tough talk and facial expressions that would give cold chills to the most hardened criminals. I did not want my three and four-year-old son and daughter to play with Ray, but in this type of melting pot atmosphere there were hardly any choices. Keep your kids in the house all the times or let them out and hope you could keep them in your sight.

I did get up the nerve once to tell Ray he was not welcome on our sidewalk. Yea, right. He took another drag on his cigarette (I kid you not) and rode off on his bicycle laughing.

Soon after that my son's bicycle disappeared. I offered a small reward for the return of the bike and, believe it or not, Ray found the bike, returned it, collected the reward, and then my son's bike mysteriously disappeared again. Did you guess the same thing I did? I'll always be sure Ray took the bike both times. That was when I nicknamed Ray The Godfather.

My son's fifth birthday approached and I told him he could invite five friends. Our apartment was small and there would not be room for more. Word got out and 22 neighborhood children showed up for the party. They all brought gifts. Each had selected something of their own to give and were delighted to have the chance to attend a real birthday party. My mother was there and managed to organize the children, teach them games and divide a small cake in nice portions for each child.

I looked out the window and could see The Godfather circling the block on his bicycle. He knew we had a party going on. I stepped outside and invited him in. He took off at a rapid pace and said he wasn't a bit interested. The next time he came around the corner I stepped out with a small piece of cake and assured him there wasn't any harm in sharing a piece of my son's birthday cake. Ray took the cake and shoved it in his mouth. There were a couple of piece of hard candy on the plate and he shoved those in his pocket and rode off with icing smeared on his already dirty face.

That evening, after the party had ended and all the children had gone home, we had a knock at the door. I opened the door to Ray who was holding a nice, new little toy car. He brought this gift to my son for his birthday. It is doubtful The Godfather could have produced a sales receipt for this fine car, but I decided it was best not to inquire. We never had any problems with Ray after that day and my children were granted protection for the next three years until we moved. I will always wonder what happened to Ray. He either ended up in prison or he is CEO of some large corporation.

I'm watching The Sopranos on my Netflix right now and maybe I enjoy these mobsters so much because they cause me to remember Ray.

Monday, August 06, 2007

SLUMBER PARTY TO END ALL

My godchildren are coming on Saturday from Colorado and California. They will arrive after noon and stay until noon on Sunday. My son, daughter, her husband and all the grand kids are coming too. We will have bedrolls and fall where slumber takes us. I have purchased Negra Medelo beer and Guinness and Pinot Gricio wine at the request of my goddaughter. I will search for dark chocolate treats, vegetables and unsalted meats for my godson's girlfriend. The other children don't matter this trip because we are embracing Jessi, Travis whom we only see about once a year and Christiane that I have never met. It is going to be one heck of a weekend and I shall attempt to find all the most embarrassing videos I can.

eBay DISCUSSION

It has been over a year since I sold on eBay after an eight year membership. I am proud of my 99.6% ranking. It has barely been two days since I bought on eBay. I love eBay. You can find all the best bargains on eBay.......but, you must know how to shop on eBay. Has your seller been on eBay for at least six months and does the seller have a 99% or better rating? Those are the first good signals.

If you see a negative or two on an eBay seller, check first to see how long the seller has been a member. Check to see how long the issuer of the negative has been a member. Anyone who enters a negative is either trying to get out of a legitimate purchase or they have a hitonious complaint and have tried desperately to satisfy the situation with the seller. Rarely do they ever have a hitonious complaint. Usually they are fairly new eBayers who complain because they are simply whiners.

If you shop on eBay remember that complaints damage a seller greatly. Never enter a negative unless your first give the seller a chance to fix the situation or unless the seller has committed a fraud or greatly misrepresented the product and refused to rectify the complaint. Don't jump in and enter a negative about the person without giving them the chance to refund your money or replace your product.

I'm not sure if I will ever return to eBay as a seller, but I will always shop on eBay and I truly appreciate those who sellers who hang in there like Monica. Oh my goodness, her vintage products are fantastic!

GRANDSONS THREE

These are great days in August. Three days in a row we celebrate three grandchildren. Today Ian turns 15 in California. Tomorrow Dillon will be 13 in Oklahoma and Wednesday Michael will be 13 in Missouri. (Dillon and Michael were born exactly 24 hours apart.) We celebrate all three of these fine young men and cherish them as we do all our grandchildren.

Boys absolutely flabbergast me. I can relate to the granddaughters as they age and take on changes. The boys literally amaze me as I try to figure just what goes on in their minds.

Michael was with me all last week and while he comforted me and consoled me over the loss of my mother and entertained me too. He also drove me straight up the wall.

"Close the backdoor Michael." "Hey, don't forget to close the backdoor." "You keep leaving the backdoor open it's expensive to aircondition the outdoors!"

"Be sure and put the pop back in the refrigerator." "Did you leave this lid off the pop?" "Did that bottle of pop sit out all night?"

"Candy wrappers go in the trash Michael." "Hey Mike, put those candy wrappers in the trash." "How did all these candy wrappers get in the washing machine?" "Where is Mike? Just follow the trail of candy wrappers!" and from Grandpa with rage, "WHO ATE ALL MY CANDY BARS?"

"Shake the grass off your shoes and leave them by the door please." "Don't walk in the house with those shoes on." "Oops, you forgot to take your shoes off." "Don't take your shoes off and then tramp around in the grass in your socks because the grass falls off your socks as you stomp around the house."

My ring tones are changed on my cell phone. The computer goes berserk after the grandsons show their computer skills whether we want them to or not. When the boys start telling stories they stay right with you even following you to the bathroom and talking through the door or pushing notes and/or pictures under the door to share as if you're never coming out again.

But, they grow up to be brilliant and they give big bear hugs, so who cares about the rest.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOYS. GRANNY AND GRANDPA LOVE YOU!

Saturday, August 04, 2007

BLOG TEMPTATION

Climbing out of sorrow is a difficult thing to do. It is made easier by comforting comments that are like fizzy lifting drink. Thank you!

I want to write on my blog but finding words worth sharing doesn't seem to happen. I posted a couple of things and then deleted them. I enter blog world and read all the amazing things others have written. I laugh and cry and feel a little more like a person again.

It is as if my blogger friends are turning the jump rope and inviting me to jump in. Here I come......baby steps.